Dry Ice
by reno-xxxXXXxxx
Summary: SEQUEL TO THE 'RENO' DIET ...With a battle of wits between Elena and Reno, how long will it be before one of them goes too far? T for swearing and sexual refs. Chapter 23!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Well, I never thought this day would come, and here I am trying my hand once again at humor writing. Judging on how successful The 'Reno' Diet was, I'm hoping this one will be just as, if not more successful. There isn't a whole lot of humor in the first chapter, I'm just setting the scene really, but I'm giving you a nice long chapter to begin with, although I can't promise every chapter will be like this.

I know I said I was waiting until I finished writing one of my other stories to start this one, but I just couldn't wait any longer. Therefore, updating on this story will be very slow until I have actually finished something.

Enjoy, and please review - _pretty please? _

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**Chapter 1**

"Reno! Wake the hell up right now!"

"Wha-?" Reno sat bolt upright, staring the blonde Turk in front of him right in the face.

"What do you think you're doing?" Elena said angrily.

"Sleeping." Reno yawned, lying back down again.

"Do you know what day it is?" The blonde asked.

"Uh… Thursday?"

"Yes. It's Thursday. Do you know what that means?"

"The Chinese take-away closes early tonight?" Reno suggested with an awkward smile on his face.

"You're _supposed _to be at work." Elena said, trying to calm down slightly. "Tseng was going to come himself but he decided to leave you since you seem so un-keen to keep your job."

"Heh." Reno put his hands behind his head. "Did Tseng tell ya to say that?"

"What?" Elena said, flustering. "No. Now come on, get up."

"You know," Reno said, ruffling his own hair in an attempt to make it look more acceptable. "If I didn't know you didn't give a crap about me keeping my job, I would have been almost touched by your concern of my attendance."

"Why have you missed so many days?" Elena asked. "We haven't heard anything from you for days."

"Felt ill." Reno shrugged.

"Why didn't you call?"

"Can't find my phone." Reno told her, looking sleepily around his apartment.

"I'm not surprised." Elena said, shaking her head looking at their messy surroundings. "I bet it was heaven for you to stay in my apartment. It can't be healthy to live like this… you probably caught a bug from your apartment."

"Shut it 'Lena." Reno said, grabbing his jacket. "Let's get goin'."

The two Turks exited Reno's apartment, after Elena reminding Reno to lock his door. It was about to be Reno's first day at work, well half-day, since he'd won his bet, and began consuming his normal, and in Elena's opinion, disgusting amounts of sugary food. It was bound to be entertaining, and probably quite hazardous.

Reno had returned to his apartment at the end of the last day of the bet, and no one had heard from him since then. Elena was surprised mainly by the fact that he hadn't tried to claim his reward. Not even one phone call about a date, or even seeing her. Elena had known Reno long enough however, to know that he would never forget, and was probably just drawing the whole thing out like that to make it work better to his advantage.

They had decided to just walk to work, since it was only about a 10 minute walk from Reno's apartment. Elena had driven to his place from home, but she would just come and pick her car up later. Elena looked over at the redhead as they walked, finding it odd that he wasn't really talking to her. He still wasn't his usual hyperactive self, even though he had been granted the gifted of being able to eat whatever he wanted for several days now. All of the Turks had noticed how much weight Reno had lost in the mere two weeks of healthy eating, and Elena would have expected him to put the weight back on easily so he looked a little healthier again, but he still had the same drawn, gaunt look about him, despite his slightly happier expression.

* * *

Reno ruffled his hair again as they stepped out of the windy outdoors and through the front entrance of Shin-Ra Inc. HQ. Elena smiled amusedly at the look on Reno's face; as though he was angry at the wind for messing up his hair.

"Nice of you to turn up, Reno."

"S'up boss-man." Reno said, saluting mockingly.

Elena shook her head; sometimes Reno could be too confident in himself. After all, Tseng was bound to not be very happy with him, and yet he still found it appropriate to have his same 'I-don't-give-a-crap' attitude.

"Where have you been?" Tseng asked patiently.

"Ah, sorry I'm late, I lost track of time…" Reno looked from Tseng to Elena, noticing the expressions on both their faces. "…and days as well…_sir_."

"Well, you'll find your paperwork where you left it and plenty more of it as well." Tseng carried on, not seeming to care about Reno's lack of excuse.

"Yes, sir." Reno replied in an unusually happy tone. "What?" He said defensively as he saw the way the two other Turks were staring at him.

"It's paperwork, Reno." Elena said. "You hate paperwork. Why are you so happy?"

"Well, I _do _hate paperwork, but at least I only have mine to do." Reno grinned, beginning to make his way to his office.

Elena swallowed hard, a little nervous about Reno's reference to their bet, because of course Reno had agreed to do all of Elena's paperwork if he lost the bet. How long would it be until he actually tried to claim his prize?

She had to admit though, it had taken her a while to come to terms with the fact that Reno had actually won. She really didn't think he would have had it in her. So either he _really _wanted that date, or he was a lot healthier than he let on. Elena figured the first one was more likely.

"Elena, you have a little bit of paperwork that's just been put in your office. Nothing too complicated." Tseng told her kindly. "You do have a mission later as well, I haven't mentioned it to either Reno or Rude, but all three of you are to go."

"Yes, sir. What's the mission?" Elena asked interestedly.

"I'll tell you later." Tseng replied. "But when you've finished your paperwork, grab Reno and come to my office. I know he won't be finished, but we don't have all day."

"Yes, sir. And what about Rude?"

"I'll tell Rude. Don't worry about that."

"Okay, sir." Elena finished before leaving to go to her office. Missions were always interesting, but Elena could tell this one would be a little bit awkward. Usually, if the mission was easy, Tseng would send Elena and Reno. If it was a little harder, he would send Reno and Rude, to make sure the job got done safely and effectively. Elena had never been sent on her own, but she knew both Reno and Rude had. It was only on difficult missions that he wanted all three of them to go.

Elena entered her office, closing the door behind her, finding everything as she left it. She had half expected Reno to have sneaked into her office before she got their, and played one of his usual pranks in return for her making him come to work.

It only took her a few minutes after sitting down to work out that she had been right in suspecting. Sitting on her desk were two pens she hadn't left there that morning. They were both chewed, one slightly more than the other, and it didn't take Elena long to figure out where they came from. She remembered that day when they had only just started their bet, and she and Reno had argued about him eating her pens. Grudgingly, she had lent him a second pen, almost certain that she would never get either of them back. How he had remembered them, and then actually found them in the slum Reno called an office was beyond her. Even she had completely forgotten about it.

Sighing, she put one of the pens in her drawer and picked up the other one whilst pulling her small amount of paperwork towards her. A date here, and a signature there; it didn't take her long to finish, and before long she had put the other pen in her drawer and picked up her paperwork, ready to give to Tseng when she saw him. She picked up her keys and put them in her bag, then picked up the bag and exited the office, closing the door behind her.

It wasn't often Elena had to go to Reno's office, since he usually came to her, so it had taken her a while to actually learn where it was. It was easier to find at the moment though, because the corridor where it was found was littered with planks of wood and there was plaster all over the floor where the builders had left it from fixing his ceiling a couple of weeks beforehand. If they were expecting Reno to move it for them, they had another thing coming.

* * *

Elena twisted the handle of Reno's office door, but for some reason it was locked. Sighing she knocked on the door, dreading hearing the reason why the door was locked.

"Reno, get out here." She shouted.

There was a click and the door opened, allowing Elena to see a relieved looking Reno.

"Why is the door locked?" the blonde asked.

"Security reasons." Reno said awkwardly.

"How nice of you to protect the rest of the staff from yourself." Elena said sarcastically. "Thank you for the present by the way and… oh my-"

"What?" Reno asked defensively.

"Have you tidied your office?" Elena said, her jaw dropping.

"A little…"

"Why?"

"I was… looking for something." Reno stuttered. Elena could tell from the way his eyes were darting backwards and forwards that he was hiding something. Also the fact that his arms were crossed, hiding his arms in his jacket were a big give-away.

"Reno?"

"Okay…" The redhead sighed. He pulled his arms out of jacket, revealing something small and furry. At first, Elena thought it was a rat, and she wouldn't have been surprised if it was, but then she remembered...

"I told you about him before, didn't I?" Reno asked, holding up the polecat. "I said I adopted a ferret, remember?"

"I didn't think you were being serious…" Elena said, eyeing the black and brown ferret suspiciously. "Why is it here?"

"Well that's the thing you see." Reno told her. "I couldn't remember where I left him, so I had to sort through my office to try and find him."

"Well come on. We have to go see Tseng." Elena told him. "But first, can you please do something about the wood out there?"

"Sure thing 'Laney." Reno put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a handful of dog-food and threw it on the floor. "There ya go little Buster." He put the ferret on the floor, and it promptly ran to the food and started eating.

Reno smiled pleasantly at Elena and went outside, grabbing as much wood as he could hold and brought it back into his office. He briefly put it down on the floor and cracked his knuckles.

"Buster?" Elena said, looking at the polecat on the floor. "Is that his name?"

"Yep," Reno said picking the wood up again. "'Cause it sounds like 'bastard' and that's what I called him after he stole my breakfast first day I had him."

"Was your breakfast dog-food?" Elena asked, looking at the little ferret happily munching on the dog-food.

"No, it's not bad though ya know." Reno said.

Elena sighed and shook her head, watching Reno as he lifted the wood up, and hurled it out of his open window.

"Reno, why did you do that?" Elena asked disbelievingly. She was slightly surprised at herself for not stopping him from throwing it out.

"It's alright, there's a skip on the floor out there. Coincidence, huh?" Reno smirked. "It's come in useful."

"Just come on." Elena said, leaving Reno's office with the redhead behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I got this out quicker than I thought, since I have nothing to do for _some _reason. So yeah, this chapter is still not funny, but I didn't think first one was, so yeah, hope you like it.

enjoy

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**Chapter 2 **

"Hey, Lena? Where we goin' anyway?" Reno asked, running a few steps to keep up with the blonde Turk.

"To Tseng." She replied bluntly.

"Oh yeah?" Reno said amusedly. Elena didn't even have to look at him know that he was smirking. "Why?"

"We have a mission. Me, you and Rude." Elena told him, already sensing that she would have a headache by the end of the day.

"Oh wow." Reno said enthusiastically. "I ain't been on a mission with Rude for _years._"

"You would have gone last week if you'd have bothered showing up." Elena said darkly.

"Alright. What's eatin' ya?" Reno asked. Elena paused, not really sure how to respond to that question.

"Nothing." She settled with.

"'Kay then." Reno smiled. "What's this mission then?" the redhead asked.

"I don't know, that's why we're going to see Tseng." Elena sighed.

Elena was about to knock on Tseng's office door, when Reno put his hand up, shook his head, and opened the door straight away.

"Ah… there you are." Tseng said looking up. Rude was already in the room, sitting with his arms folding, waiting for his fellow Turks. Elena was slightly dumb-struck as to how Reno always managed to get away with walking straight into Tseng's office. Elena would never dare do that…

"So, what's the plan, boss-man?" Reno asked casually.

"I need you to go over to Wall-Market-"

"Please tell us there's no cross-dressin' involved?" Reno interrupted. Elena couldn't help but laugh.

"Reno…" Tseng coughed lightly. "I know how much the stories about AVALANCHE members amused you, but it has nothing to do with this mission. Anyway, we knew that Don Corneo has been passing information to us from AVALANCHE, but I fear it has finally turned the other way around."

"You mean he's passin' info to Cloud an' his buddies?" Reno asked.

"Right." Tseng said. "But we don't know if it's true or not. We only had a tip-off from one of the Don's workers. There's a lot of treachery going on, and the main thing is we need to find out who is deceiving who."

"Doesn't sound too bad." Elena said. "Why do we all have to go?"

"You of all people should know Elena, it's difficult to predict Corneo's next move." Tseng explained. "We need full attention at all time, and although Reno is our best interrogator, he doesn't exactly have the best attention span."

"Did you just insult me?" Reno asked, narrowing his eyes.

"No Reno." The raven-haired man replied simply. "Are you all ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." Reno said impatiently. "Rude?"

The bald Turk stood up and nodded, smiling slightly. "Let's go." He confirmed.

* * *

It didn't take the three Turks long to make it to Wall-Market, and Reno's presence always seemed to make time go faster. Reno's smirk seemed to get more and more obvious the closer they got to Don Corneo's mansion, and Elena wasn't sure she wanted to know why.

"Hey, Rude and 'Laney…" Reno said, stopping before he entered the mansion. "Be prepared, you wouldn't want the Don to mistake either of you for women." He grinned.

"Shut up Reno." Elena said angrily, but the only response Reno got from Rude was a cough and a smirk.  
"Shut up Rude." Reno said moodily.

"It's the hormones." Elena whispered loudly to Rude, who smirked again. Reno scowled at her.

Upon entering Don Corneo's mansion, Reno cheered up significantly, which was slightly worrying to Elena. It seemed like he had something on his mind that was amusing him.

"Where is he?" Reno asked the man at the desk loudly. Elena sighed, thinking that Reno could be a little more inconspicuous.

"Sorry?" The man replied snobbishly.

"That fat bastard you call a boss, where is he?" Reno said, surprisingly calmly. Elena knew that one of Reno's pet hates was snobbish people who looked down their nose at him. The man coughed lightly.

"Did you have an appointment?" he asked.

"Of course I did." Reno said, suddenly making his tone more pleasant. "I'm a little late though…" he narrowed his eyes and smirked at these words, making Elena nervous.

"Go on up." The man said. He clearly couldn't be bothered with Reno's awkward behavior.

Reno stepped away from the desk and smirked at Rude and Elena. As usual, he had known exactly what he was doing when he was talking to the man behind the desk. He seemed to have a way with people which was beyond Elena.

"Anyone actually remember their way 'round this place?" Reno asked, suddenly stopping on the stairs.

"Yeah, middle door." Rude told him. Reno nodded and ran up the stairs two at a time before waiting for the other two at the top.

"C'mon then." Reno said, leading the two of them through the door.

"Who's there?" came a nervous sounding voice.

The three Turks stepped forwards into full view of Don Corneo, who stared over at them, terrified.

"I heard you changed your mind." Reno said savagely. "What did you do with the diaper?"

"No!" the Don said, shaking his large head. "I didn't… you don't know what they threatened to do!"

"There are fates worse than death." Reno told him. "Or castration, now tell me what's goin' on."

"I didn't do anything; I swear." Corneo said. He mopped his sweaty brow. "One of my employees got fired, and he decided to cause trouble."

"What have you said to AVALANCHE?" Reno asked, his voice slightly calmer.

"Nothing." The Don said bluntly. "I want out of this Shin-Ra and AVALANCHE fight."

Reno stared at Don Corneo, as though puzzling something through, eventually, he seemed to make his decision and exited the room. Elena looked at Rude who shook his head, and then both of them followed Reno.

"What was that about?" Elena asked him.

"He's not lying, trust me." The redhead told her as they exited the building. She was a little skeptical as to how Reno knew this, but she trusted him anyway. Reno looked like he was about to say something, when suddenly someone charged at him from his left, forcing him to ground.

"Shit!" he screamed as Rude pulled the man off him. He had only managed to get in a few punches, and Reno's eye was already blackening. "What the _hell _do ya think ya playin' at?" The redhead shouted at the man Rude held by the collar. He had adopted his familiar inhumanly-fast, angry voice.

"You Turk bastard." The man hissed. "You'll never beat the Don!"

"Ah… one of those, eh?" Reno laughed. "I bet you've never even met the Don, have ya? You want me to kill ya then?"

"Reno, you've seen people like this before." Rude interrupted. "They're not even worth wasting a bullet on."

"Sure, I've seen people like this before, but I had to pay an admission." Reno spat. "Now piss off before I find something to get really angry about."

"You couldn't beat me, let alone the Don!" The man said stubbornly.

"Modest kinda guy, ain't ya?" Reno smirked. "With a lot to be modest about. You're more of a nuisance than a threat; now wander off back to the Don in case he needs someone to kiss his ass."

Rude let go of the man's collar, and he did the stupidest thing he could have in Elena's opinion. He took another swing at Reno, who dodged, and punched him back, knocking him out instantly.

"Let's go." Reno said smugly, leaving the man on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Sorry this is such a short chapter. And sorry it took so long. Once again, there's not as much humor in this chapter, but this is the last chapter setting the scene, and then I'll get to it properly.

Enjoy, and please review

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**Chapter 3**

"Gimme a beer." Reno said lazily. The barman did as he was ordered and passed a beer over to the redhead without saying a word.

The three Turks had somehow managed to escape from work, despite the fact that they hadn't been back to HQ after their mission. Reno had somehow managed to arrange with Tseng that they could report to him tomorrow, mainly because of the fact that Reno couldn't be bothered to go all the way back.

"Doesn't take you long to get your first drink, does it, Reno?" Elena said. They had literally only just sat down at the bar when Reno had demanded his first beer.

"No point messin' 'round." Reno said, taking a long gulp of his beer.

"Right…" Elena sighed at looked vaguely around the bar. There was something about those places that she didn't really like, but she had to humor Reno, and Rude didn't seem to mind either. She still wasn't quite sure what the obsession with alcohol was, but no doubt she would figure it out eventually.

Reno sighed and put his beer down on the bar again, before stretching out his arms, causing his back bone to crack.

"Reno…" Elena cringed. "Don't do that…" she had always hated the sound of bones cracking.

"Aw… sorry 'Laney." Reno put his hands out in front of him and began cracking his knuckles.

"Reno!" Elena shouted, smacking him lightly in the side of the head. The redhead shot her his most pitiful look, and Elena sighed. "Do you have to be so annoying?"

"That's the stupidest question I've ever heard." Rude said. He had somehow managed to get a beer himself without Elena noticing.

"Of course I do." Reno said, grinning and draining his beer. "Oi, get me another, will ya?"

Elena shook her head, not liking where the evening was going. They still had a long time until the bar closed, and Reno was on his second beer.

"Anywho…" Reno carried on. "My back's sore so I gotta stretch it ya know…"

"Why is your back sore?" Elena asked.

"'Cause of that prick over at the Don's place. He was pretty heavy ya know?" Reno said. Suddenly he grinned, telling Elena he just linked what he said with something vulgar. "Ya know-"

"Shut up." Elena interrupted. She knew roughly what he was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it.

"C'mon 'Lena, you gotta lighten up." Reno said idly. "Have a drink."

"No, thank you." Elena responded curtly. "I'd rather one of us stayed the responsible one."

"Don't worry, Elena." Rude told her. "I'm only having this one."

"Yeah…" Reno added. "Don't be such a lightweight."

'_Damn!' _Elena thought to herself. Now she had no excuse other than to admit she was a lightweight, because of course, Reno was never going to let it go.

"We have to go to work tomorrow…" Elena pleaded hopelessly. Reno didn't say a word, he merely smirked at her. The blonde knew what he was thinking, because she was thinking it as well. They didn't have to go in until later in the day tomorrow, so it didn't really matter. "…fine then."

"Oi, bar-guy!" Reno shouted. "Get a drink for my lady-friend here… you'll like this." He added quietly to Elena.

The barman passed another bottle over to Reno and Elena took it from him. She took a sip and had to stop herself from gagging. She didn't really like to be seen as a lightweight. The liquid burned her throat, but there was something about it that she liked.

"What's the matter 'Lena?" Reno asked, grinning. Elena stared at him, only just realizing that her eyes were watering.

"Nothing." Elena said determinedly. She took another sip, slightly longer this time, and it didn't burn as much so she smiled. "It's good." She admitted.

"Heh…" Reno merely drained his second drink and smirked at her.

'_Oh God…' _Elena thought. _'What have I let myself in for?'_


	4. Notice To Readers

Hey, everyone

**Hey, everyone!**

**I'm posting this message on all of my stories, even though I was hoping to update something before this Saturday. Unfortunately I haven't had time. **

**I won't be updating anything for at least another week, because I'm going on vacation on Saturday August 2****nd**** Then it's my birthday on August 12****th**** yay so things are gonna be a bit hectic for a while. Just bare with me, and don't disappear, please!! Last year it took me a while to get my reviewers back, so this is why I'm telling you now.**

**I get back on August 9****th****, and I'll update **_**something **_**as soon as I can.**

**Thanks so much for all your reviews and your patience, guys.**

**Love from,**

**reno-xxxXXXxxx**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hey guys, sorry about the wait I've been really busy lately. Anyhow, I was gonna say if anyone has any requests or suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know, 'cause it's kinda difficult for me get into the humor genre again.

Enjoy and please review!!

**

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**

Chapter 4

The first thing Elena noticed was the thumping in her head. It took her a while to actually come to terms with where she was, and found herself relieved when she opened her eyes slowly and realized she was in her own apartment. However something wasn't right…

The blond lifted her arms and stretched them, before rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She found it took her a few minutes to be able to actually see clearly, as she tried to blink away her dizziness. Her whole body was starting to ache already, and her knees felt extremely bruised like she had fallen over several times. Groaning, she turned her head to the left… and screamed.

"Gee, 'Lena… do you have to?" the redhead lying next to her moaned rubbing his head.

"R-Reno? What are you doing here?" Elena stuttered.

"Just chillin'." Reno smirked. Elena stared at him, not even having enough energy to stay angry; that could wait until later.

"But…" Elena couldn't think of anything to say, so just continued staring at the redhead. He was in his underwear, and Elena could tell by the fact that his hair was even more ruffled than usual that he must have been there all night. "What h-happened?"

"Oh… well let's just say I finally claimed my prize… a little more than I expected, but hey." Reno grinned and stretched his long arms out.

"W-what?" Elena couldn't help but blush. Was he bluffing? Elena wasn't sure whether he would actually take advantage of a drunk woman… but she definitely wouldn't put it past him. Come to think of it, how much had she actually drank last night?

"Sorry 'Lena… but you were beggin' me…" Reno's grin grew. "I just couldn't say no to someone so desperate."

"Shut up." Elena snapped, sitting up slowly. Her head pounded even more, and then she felt a strange gagging sensation in her throat.

She shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up, knowing that Reno would follow her.

"Stupid hang-over…" Elena said, kneeling over the toilet.

"Oh… I dunno 'Laney, you probably wanna get that checked out." Reno said. Elena could tell from the tone of the voice that he was positively gleeful.

"What?" the blonde asked in an irritated tone.

"Well… I heard that morning sickness can start the mornin' after." The redhead said. Elena heard him take a step backwards.

"What!" Elena shouted, daring the step away from the toilet to glare at the redhead. "You didn't make sure we were protected or anything?!"

"Well you're the one who get's pregnant, why should I care?" Reno said blankly.

"You jerk!" Elena slapped him in the face. "I would _not _expect this, even from you!"

"Ow…" Reno moaned, rubbing his cheek. "It wasn't my fault…"

"Yes it was!" Elena shouted despite her pounding head. "You were perfectly sober!"

"How do you know?" Reno smirked.

"Because… you have some sort of weird system that makes you completely immune to the effects of alcohol…"

"True." Reno shrugged. "Well, if you'd have preferred, I coulda left you in the gutter inside of draggin' you home."

Elena sighed and sat down on the floor. The thing that really ticked her off about Reno was the fact that she could never actually tell when he was lying or joking around. For all she knew, he was joking around, but she knew she must have a lot to drink the nigh before since her memory was a complete blank. The only problem was that she couldn't really trust Reno to tell her the truth. The only thing to do would be to ask someone who would give her a straight answer. Rude may not have been there all night, but he would have been there until she and Reno had left the bar.

But of course, she had more pressing matters on her mind; if Reno was telling the truth, it was highly possible that she was pregnant. It was then that it clicked in her mind how little she actually knew about pregnancy…

'_How long do I have to wait before a pregnancy test would actually work? I dread to think what a baby of Reno's would turn out like anyway… wait a minute… how do I even know Reno's fertile, with all that alcohol it's probably killed all his-'_

"Uh Laney?" Reno waved his hand in front of Elena's face. "You're eye's twitchin' – you 'kay?"

"You're a bastard, you know that?" Elena got up off the bathroom floor and stretched.

"It's not _entirely _my fault ya know?"

"Reno?" Elena said grabbing a towel and turning on her shower. "Do me a favor?"

"Yeah?" Reno grinned, eyeing the showed deviously.

"Go to work… before I murder you." Elena said through gritted teeth. She couldn't stop thinking about what Reno had done, and the more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She didn't have any wish to actually hurt the redhead, but she knew if he stuck around, she probably would do.

"But then I'll be _early_..." Reno whined. "I don't wanna-"

"Have you ever considered suing your brains for non-support?" Elena asked, feeling her eye twitch again. "'Cause you should know now would be a good time to leave."

"Whatever ya say 'Laney, baby… oops." Reno grinned and made a swift exit seemingly fearing Elena's hormone and headache induced wrath. Elena couldn't help but smile at his attempt at humor.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hey guys, sorry about the little wait. I just started school again, and that combined with me sorting out doctors appointments and whatever... it's just been hectic.

You'll be happy to know that I think I've finally managed to get back into the swing of writing humor. Even though I'm _extremely _pissed off since I lost all my material I was working with. I had 12 pages of stuff I was gonna use for this story, and the file has just vanished. I've starting finding new stuff, but I've not even got a page now. cries Maybe I'll find it again if I'm lucky. But yeah, I actually came up with an idea of where this story is going, so yay!

Enjoy, and please review!

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**Chapter 5**

Elena looked at her watch impatiently. 2 minutes until the pharmacy behind her opened, but it felt like two years. Waiting until 9 to visit the pharmacy was going to make her late for work, but that was a risk she was willing to take. She just wanted to get the suspense over and done with even though she knew she wouldn't be able to use it straight away, but for some reason it would make her feel better even if she just got the buying part out of the way. And, if she _was _pregnant, the sooner she killed Reno the better.

Elena let go a sigh of relief as someone came to the shop door and unlocked it before turning the 'closed' sign to 'open'. The blond Turk wasted no time in opening the door, ignoring the awkward glance from the shopkeeper, presumably provoked by her Turk uniform. Elena walked over to the counter and cleared her throat.

"Can I help you?" the shopkeeper said, tidying her hair.

"How much are your pregnancy tests?" Elena asked. She would normally have hated asking about such a thing, but she was in too much of a rush to care.

"Oh, I'm sorry… we don't have any left in stock." The shopkeeper replied.

"None at all?" Elena narrowed her eyes.

"Nope, sorry. Some guy bought the last of them just before we closed last night."

Elena sighed and left the shop, not even thinking that there was something odd about the statement the shopkeeper just provided her with. Sinking into an even fouler mood, she headed for work.

* * *

Elena guessed Reno must have had some brains, since she had been working quietly on her paperwork for 3 hours, and she hadn't seen Reno once. She had heard him on the other hand, shouting presumably at Tseng, but she hadn't really been paying attention. She soon realized she should have been however, when Tseng entered her office looking half confused, and half bluntly pissed off.

"Elena, I wonder if you could shine a light on this situation for me…?" The raven-haired Turk said. Elena caught a glimpse of Reno looking it at her from behind Tseng, but he soon made a swift exit after Elena shot him a glare.

"Yes, sir?" Elena said overly politely. She felt her eye twitch again.

"Why has Reno spent all morning trying to sell people pregnancy tests?" her superior asked. Elena gritted her teeth together as realization suddenly dawned over her.

"I have no idea, sir." Elena said. She couldn't help but smirk slightly. Reno thought he was being clever, but for once she would outsmart him.

Tseng left the office, still pondering on Reno's strange behaviour. Elena put down her pen slowly and looked up.

"Reno!" she shouted. Just as she expected, the redhead had been hiding around the corner.

"Yes, dearest?" Reno said in a scarily polite voice.

"I'd like to buy a pregnancy test, please." Elena asked, returning the polite way of speaking.

"Sorry… all out." The redhead dropped the formalities and smiled.

"Have I ever told you I hate you?" the blond Turk said, feeling her jaw twitch this time.

"Many times. But let me tell you this 'Laney… for a start, you don't really hate me, you're just mad 'cause you got plastered. And ya gotta remember that I'm only human-"

"Any similarity between you and a human being is purely coincidental." Elena narrowed her brown eyes.

"Well, that's just not nice…" Reno said pulling a false pout. "I want an apology."

"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works." The blonde Turk said in an irritated tone. "Now please, get me a pregnancy test before I arrange it so you can _never _have children."

"Sorry, 'Laney." Reno shrugged. "My castration won't change the fact that I don't _have _any of them left… I sold them all."

"To who?" Elena inquired. She wasn't sure what annoyed her most; the fact that Reno had done this in the first place, or the fact that he wasn't taking her seriously. "And I'm not joking…"

"There's no point in trying to scare him Elena…" came a husky voice from the doorway. Elena looked past Reno to see Rude standing in the entrance. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'."

"He doesn't know the meaning of most words." Elena sighed. Rude smirked slightly.

"Reno, Tseng wants you…" the bald man said quietly to the redhead.

"Oh, _does _he now?" Reno said with a perverse grin on his face. "Okay… I'm goin'." He added seeing the look on Rude's face. "Don't getcha panties in a bunch."

Elena watched the redhead's retreating form before looking back to Rude. "You okay?" The bald Turk asked. Elena nodded, but then remembered something.

"Rude… you remember last night?" she asked awkwardly.

"More than you probably do… I only had one beer." Rude replied.

"Did anything… happen between me and Reno?" she tried to word it as best she could, but it was surprisingly difficult.

"You mean-?"

"Basically, last night I woke up… with Reno next to me." Elena sighed. She knew she could trust Rude but it was still an awkward thing to say.

"Oh… I don't know really…" Rude said, sounding just awkward as Elena felt. "Reno practically carried you out of the bar… it seems he can take alcohol better than you."

"Well you don't say…" Elena said sarcastically. She put her head in her hands and sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "I can't believe this is happening…"

"Maybe you should be talking to Reno…" Rude suggested.  
"I would, but whenever I try to speak to him he never takes anything I say seriously. Do you know what he-?"  
"I know." Rude interrupted. "I'll talk to him then."

"Thanks, Rude." Elena said gratefully. She guessed that if Reno would listen to anyone it would be Rude. If nothing else, at least Rude was a little more intimidating… although knowing Reno he wouldn't be intimidated in the slightest.

* * *

"What the _hell_?!" Elena heard the unmistakable yell of Reno and put down her pen. Sighing, she shook her head, and prepared herself mentally to be rudely interrupted.

Sure enough, a few seconds later the blondes office door was almost torn from its hinges as Reno burst in. He was followed by a very familiar little boy.

"Hello, Elena." The little blond boy said coolly.

"D-Drake?" Elena stuttered.

"This's how it went… Rufus comes up t'me and just tells me to take his bastard nephew and take good care of 'im for a few hours while his bitch of a mother is at a _business _meetin'. I mean wha' the hell, really? What does Rufus do all day? Nothin'. Exactly – yet we gotta take care o' this-"

"Reno!" Elena had to raise her voice to let herself be heard over Reno's rant. It was _so _irritating when he got so angry, because his words became so slurred together she usually didn't have a clue what he was saying. She got the idea this time though, since she heard the word 'bastard' and Drake was pointed at several times. "Listen to me… it's a few hours, right?" the blond tried to reassure him. "We can sit him down and give him a book, he'll be fine."

"I have a headache." Drake stated bluntly. "I can't read because my eyes hurt."

Reno shot her an annoying look of 'I told you so' and smiled sarcastically. Elena sighed yet again – it had been a long day, and it was far from over.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, the legendary Drake is back!! Well he's not really legendary, I just enjoyed writing about him. Hope you enjoyed the chapter guys, please let me know what you thought, and ideas and suggestions are still welcome!

Oh, by the way, sorry about any grammar mistakes, I seem to have a grammar block at the moment.


	7. Chapter 6

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* * *

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A/N:

Sorry about the wait. I didn't manage to get the first half of the chapter onto my laptop, so I had to make the whole thing up again. I hope it's alright, since I had a lot of distractions, and i ain't been too well lately. 

Enjoy

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**Chapter 6**

"So then…" Reno sat himself down on the side of Elena's desk. "What _do _ya wanna do today?"

Drake didn't reply, he just merely shrugged his shoulders and looked at the two Turks with an expression of pure distaste on his face. Reno's eyes narrowed and he gained an angry look in his eyes; a tell-tale sign that he was about to say something unsuitable.

"Use your imagination, Reno." Elena said before Reno could speak. "What would you usually do to keep a child entertained?"

"An idiot like him?" Reno asked. "Give 'im a piece of paper with 'please turn over' written on both sides." He crossed his arms and smiled evilly.

Elena bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. "Shut up, Reno…" She turned to Drake and kneeled down to his level. "What do you want to do? You're only here for a few hours…"

"I wanna go home…" Drake said looking at the floor. "I don't like it here."

"Ya know, we must have more in common than I thought… I say the same thing most days." Reno said, standing up straight and stretching out his back.

"You can't go home, I'm sorry Drake." Elena pleaded with the little boy. "You have to wait for Rufus or your mom to come and get you."

"Or social services…" Reno suggested.

"I'm sorry about Reno, but you don't have to stay with him…" Elena decided Reno probably wasn't helping the situation. "He's just not very happy today."

"Me? Unhappy?" Reno raised an eyebrow. "Please, I'm so happy I could shit rainbows."

"Reno, don't swear." Elena sighed. "He's only a kid."

"I'm not stupid you know," Drake said haughtily. "There's not need to talk to me like I'm a baby."

"No one's sayin' ya stupid." Reno said sardonically. "They just say ya only just learned to wave goodbye."

"Shut up!" The blond Turk said loudly. The two other people in the room fell silent. "Now… Reno, if you're gonna be an idiot then you can just go do something else-"

"An' miss out on that fun? Nah…" Reno grinned. Suddenly he gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes as though he was thinking hard about something. Suddenly, he looked straight at the door, before making a swift exit. Elena stared after him confusedly.

"When am I going home?" Drake asked, Elena noticed he was also staring at the door. "I don't like him, he's scary."

Elena couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Come on Drake… if you think of something to do, it'll make life a lot easier. Time will go quicker if you're doing something."

"I don't know." Drake said quietly. Elena was pleased to see the boy was starting to calm down quite a lot now that Reno had left the room. However, both of them jumped as the office door swung open forcefully, hitting the wall behind it, and from the sounds of it, knocking several bits of plaster off. Reno entered, with a very sheepish look about him, and the way he was holding himself was very familiar to Elena.

"Reno…" Elena remembered when she had Reno walking with one hand tucked inside his jacket before. "You haven't…?"

"What?" Reno said defensively. Sighing, he pulled his hand out of his jacket, holding the small brown ferret he had christened Buster.

"Ugh, what's that?" Drake said in a disgusted tone.

Reno smirked and scratched the ferret behind the ear with his index finger. It yawned, then nuzzled it's tiny head into Reno's chest. "What?" The redhead said mischievously. "Don't ya have wildlife where you're from? C'mon, he won't hurt ya."

Reno tapped Buster gently on the head and he craned his neck around to look at the other people in the room. Elena smiled as Drake reached up and stroked the animal gently on the head.

"Ya see?" Reno put the ferret into the little boy's arms, and surprisingly, Drake took it willingly. "He's alright, ain't he?"

Drake didn't reply, he just smiled and sat down on the floor, putting the little ferret on his knee. Buster wandered around, sniffing Drake's clothes, and then yawned, laid down and closed its eyes. Elena had to admit, it was quite a strange sight; even though Drake was a little boy, she never thought she'd see such a soft side to him.

"Ya see? Everyone's got a heart…" Reno said amusedly looking at the little boy. "Just some peoples is better hidden with the Rufus disease… I call it 'bastard-ism.'

"You must be a critical case then…" Elena smiled. "Don't let him hear you say that." The blonde motioned in the direction of Drake, but Reno merely shrugged.

"What's he gonna do?" the redhead said carelessly. Elena was about to argue back when they were interrupted by a loud ringing sound. Reno sighed and pulled his PHS out of pocket. "Yeah?" he said answering it. "Um… no. Fine… whatever."

"What?" Elena enquired as Reno hung up the call.

"Rufus… he said Dot called-"

"That's not mommy's name…" Drake said looking up.

"Shut up." Reno said, clearly not listening to him. "She wants us to take him home… as in now."

"Now? Why?" Elena asked, slightly irritated. "And why do _we _have to take him back?"

"Hell knows…" Reno reached into his pockets and pulled out a set of keys. "But I guess we don't have anythin' better to do at the moment… c'mon brat."

Drake looked up from the ferret sadly. He took the animal back in his hands and stood up, reaching up to hand it back to Reno. The redhead sighed and slouched his shoulders. "Ya know what brat, keep 'im. He don't get looked after properly by me anyway."

Drake grinned and held Buster to his chest. "Thank you." He said. Elena had to stop her jaw dropping. How had Reno managed to have such an effect on the little boy in such a short space of time? On top of that, he'd managed to actually bring out the good side of Drake… something seemed wrong somehow.

Smiling cockily, Reno shrugged his jacket back onto his shoulders, and tossed his keys into the air, catching them again. "C'mon then brat… and you Drake." He turned and smiled at Elena mischievously. He left the room, with Drake at his heel, holding his new pet. Elena shook her head; it couldn't be good for Drake to take a liking to Reno. It would be like Reno raising a minion of his own, and she didn't imagine that either Dorothy or Rufus would be very happy. Still wondering what the outcome of this new found friendship would be, Elena followed them.

* * *

Reno slammed his car door shut and slung his seatbelt around his shoulder, clicking it into place. He checked behind him in the back seat to see if Drake was ready.

"You doin' alright with Buster there?" he asked grinning. Drake nodded happily, looking down at the snoozing polecat.

Still looking incredibly pleased with himself, Reno pushed his key into the ignition and turned it, so it started with a jolt. Elena swallowed; a driving experience with Reno wasn't usually a pleasant one.

The redhead pushed his foot down on the accelerator pedal and began driving surprisingly steadily. It didn't last long though, as he pulled out into the main road, he began to speed up.

"You know Reno, you're probably the cause of half the pollution in Midgar." Elena said, noting how much he was revving the engine.

"Yeah, so's your face." Reno said irritably; he was stuck behind a slow driver. "Moove, I've seen mobility scooters move faster."

"Reno, not everyone is as much of a dangerous driver as you are." Elena said, praying that he wouldn't overtake the car in front.

"I ain't a dangerous driver…" Reno said, opening the window.

"Oh yeah? How come you end up in fields and places like that then?" Elena asked matter-of-factly.

"It's always for a reason…" Reno shrugged. "Last time it's 'cause I swerved to miss a sheep… or it could've been a fluffy rock."

Elena smiled and sighed. Reno seemed to have given up on overtaking the driver in front. Drake was sitting so quietly in the back seat Elena could have quite easily forgotten he was there. All this added up to one thing; there was something going on inside Reno's head, and Elena wanted to find out what it was. She still hadn't forgotten about the pregnancy tests, and as soon as Drake got out of the care, that would be the first thing she mentioned. She was still angry about it, and as she sat waiting for the journey to finish a plan was forming in her head of how to get the redhead back. He had taken advantage of her, and now was going out of his way to annoy her, and now Elena was finally going to get her revenge.

* * *

**A/N: **And there ya have it. Hope you all enjoyed. Make sure you let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions or ideas, they're always welcome. Please Review


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: **yay, I got another update out! Hope you enjoy this one... its kinda the start of the main plot now, as you may guess. Thanks so much for your reviews so far, and I hope you're enjoying the story.

Enjoy...

**Chapter 7**

The scream was predictable of course; Elena wasn't sure why she hadn't really seen it coming. As soon as Reno stopped the car after an extremely rough journey, and Drake had hopped out of the car to meet his mother who was waiting at the door, the little blond boy had shown his new pet to Dorothy, and the expression on her face was a memorable one.

"Where did you get that!" she cried in a screechy voice.

"Don't lay into him," Reno called from out the window. "It's ya son's only friend."

"Be quiet, you." Dorothy snapped. Elena was shocked; it was the first time she'd heard her talk to Reno like that.

"Hey! Just 'cause ya related to my boss don't mean ya can tell me what to do!" Reno said angrily. "I ain't gonna listen to ya, I don't listen to Rufus..."

"Reno, shut up." Elena said. She didn't want the redhead to go to far as to make Dorothy complain to Rufus. "Listen Dorothy, if we take the ferret back... can we just forget this ever happened?"

"Give it back, Drake..." Dorothy told her son sternly.

Drake pouted and walked back over to the car. Reno took Buster back with a strange expression on his face, although no one else seemed to notice it.

"Aww... sorry kid." Reno smiled and leaned closer to Drake to whisper to him. "I'll try change her mind at some point, don't worry."

Drake smiled and stepped back from the car as Reno twisted the key in the ignition and revved the engine unnecessarily. "Bye, bye Reno!" Drake waved and the redhead returned it smugly.

"See ya." Reno smiled and reversed the car, before driving back out into the main road.

* * *

"You cocky bastard!" Elena said suddenly. She had only just realized what the Reno had been doing the whole time. There was something about the way the redhead had been acting since he'd given Buster to Drake, but Elena couldn't put her finger on it. Instead of bugging Reno about the pregnancy test when Drake had left like she'd told herself she would, she had been pondering on Reno's behavior.

"What?" Reno smiled knowingly, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I know what you were doing." Elena smiled at the expression on Reno's face. "He'll be nice to you now, just because you tried to give him Buster."

"Aww, 'Laney." Reno sighed mockingly. "Ya know me too well."

"You always sound like you're mocking me." Elena sat back in her set and crossed her arms.

"How do ya know I ain't?" Reno smirked and pushed his foot harder on the accelerator.

"Shut up and slow down..." Elena said as her stomach lurched from the sudden speed. "And that was really mean what you did to Drake."

"What?" Reno braked hard for a red light, forcing Elena forwards. "I don't see how it was mean... I made him happy, didn't I?"

"I..." Elena stuttered. He was was the cockiest person she had ever met. "Shut up."

Reno merely smirked and lifted him foot back on the accelerator again as the light changed to green. "So, 'Laney..." he said as he carried on driving. "How're ya feelin'?"

"What?"

"Ya not feelin' sick? Hormonal?"

"Okay, Reno..." Elena sighed. "For a start... even if I _am _pregnant, you'd still land yourself with a kid, so I wouldn't be gloating. Secondly, where are the pregnancy tests?"

"What?" Reno held such a vacant expression for several minutes that Elena was starting to think it wasn't a good idea to distract him so much while he was driving."Ooh, I sold them to Strife."

"Cloud Strife? Are you serious?" Elena laughed.

"Nah, I'm just messin' with ya." Reno smiled to himself as he turned roughly into the Shinra employee carpark. "It's not hard... just go buy one."

"Reno, in case you haven't noticed, I can't drive, and the nearest pharmacy except the one around the corner is about 5 miles away." Elena huffed as she tugged her seatbelt off.

"Ahh... alright, I'll take ya after work, 'kay?' Reno smiled and turned off the car's ignition.

"What?... okay then." Elena was lost for words. It wasn't like Reno to do something nice for someone; but he had been acting a little strange lately. When Elena thought about it, it still wasn't normal for Reno to do something like give Buster to Drake, even though she knew he'd only done it to get him of his back. Reno was the kind of person to just keep winding him up until he cracked, not to try and make friends with him. He seemed like there was something on his mind... she doubted it would be same thing that was on Elena's mind, as she just wanted to find out whether or not she was pregnant. It was an awful thing to wait for; especially since a baby would change her life. But it would also change Reno's... and the result of that was bound to be amusing.

"Uhh... 'Lena? Try gettin' out the car." Reno said loudly, tapping on the window from outside; Elena hadn't even noticed him getting out. Shaking herself out of her thoughtful state, she opened the car door and stepped out into the chilly air. "Ahh... when it comes to thought, some people stop at nothin'." Reno smirked as he locked up the car. Elena didn't even register Reno's sarcastic comment, still lost in thought as she followed Reno towards the building.

Elena looked vaguely at her watch as she entered through the door Reno held open for her. _'I wonder if Tseng would let us finish early...?' _she thought to herself, seeing she still had two hours left. It wasn't as if she had any work to do either...

"C'mon" Reno motioned for Elena to come in his office with him. Frowning slightly, she followed the redhead and watched him dump the little ferret on his desk. Buster happily curled up and closed his eyes as Elena shut the office door behind them.

"What am I doing in here?" the blond asked as Reno sat down at his desk and began rummaging through his drawers.

"Ya gonna help me" Reno smiled pulling a wad of papers out of one of his drawers. He moved the ferret slightly to the side to make room for his papers and the small animal seemed to completely ignore him. It was quite an amusing and adorable sight actually.

"Reno... I can't help you, it's your paperwork." Elena told him sternly.

"It's not difficult... it's all from the stupid mission to see that stupid fat bastard..." Reno muttered splitting his work in half and thrusting some of it at Elena. The blond noticed that her pile seemed suspiciously bigger than his, but she didn't bother mentioning it. After all, Reno could quite easily take back his offer of taking her to the pharmacy, and Elena desperately wanted to find out whether she was pregnant, so she pulled up a chair and started to get to work.

"You mean Don Corneo?" Elena asked him amusedly.

"Yeah sure... Don Corneo is the definition of 'fat bastard' so it don't make any difference..." Reno muttered as he took his pen and started filling out the papers.

"I thought that was Heideggar? Or was it Palmer?" Elena laughed.

"Meh... it's a three-man team..." Reno smirked as he scribbled his signature at the bottom of the first page. "Why do they give us so much paperwork for such a stupid mission?"

"I think it's because of that man you hit..." Elena finished a page and put it on Reno's pile for him to sign. "I think it counts as brutality or something..."

"The guy fuckin' leapt on me!" Reno suddenly shouted. "What the fuck was I s'posed to do?"

"I know, I know..." Elena sighed. "I don't know why they do it... Rufus doesn't like it."

"Yeah well Rufus can go-"

"Reno." Elena said warningly before the redhead could finish his sentence. She wasn't in the mood to listen to one of Reno's 'Rufus-rants'.

Elena wasn't sure how long it took them to finish Reno's paperwork, but it was starting to get dark by the time they'd both put their pens down. It was surprising how long it could actually take to do a small amount of paperwork, especially for Reno, since he had a less-than-perfect attention span, but they had finally got it done.

"What time is it?" Reno yawned and stretched his arms out above his head.

"Time to go." Elena smiled as she looked at her watch. _Finally.._

"C'mon then..." Reno sighed mockingly, shoving his papers back into his drawer, no doubt in _some _sort of order. "Let's go."

The two Turks left Reno's office and the redhead closed and locked the door behind them. Elena smiled to herself; not being able to think of anything but the plan that was formulating in her head. All she needed now was the pregnancy test...

* * *

That was it. Elena sighed with relief as she looked at the result of the pregnancy test... it was exactly what she'd wanted it to be...

* * *

**A/N: **That's it! Sorry about the ending. I couldn't really be bothered to write about the actual 'pharmacy trip'. It just wouldn't make good reading. Plus my fingers ache from all this typing. So yeah, please review :D


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hey! Sorry about the wait, especially since I left it on a cliffhanger last time XD

Please, please, _please _review, guys. I haven't been getting as many as I normally do for a while now, and it's getting me worried :( . It doesn't have to be a particularly long review either, so just take a couple of minutes to let me know what you think :) Also, I couldn't be bothered to write about the whole day, so I cheated ;)

Enjoy

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Chapter 8

Elena smiled as she stared at the test in her hand. Her plan was perfect; and Reno wouldn't know any better. The redhead was stood outside the bathroom door while Elena was doing the test.

"Elena?" He called from behind the door. "You done?"

"Yeah…" Elena said, sounding as sorry for herself as she possibly could. Smiling, she dumped the test in her trash can and opened the bathroom door, coming face to face with a very anxious pair of turquoise eyes. "Reno…" she started to say.

"What?!" Reno said loudly. "What is it?"

"Reno… I… I'm pregnant." Elena looked at Reno directly in the eyes only to immediately regret it. The expression on his face was enough to make her burst into hysterics. Luckily, she had a little more self-control than that.

"You're lyin'" Reno said after minutes of silence. "I don't believe you."

"Reno... I'm sorry. I guess we should have been more careful." Elena looked at the floor. She was trying desperately not to laugh…

"Nah…" the redhead snickered nervously. "Ya wouldn't be so calm about it if ya were… you'll lose your job if you're pregnant."

"Reno… I can't get rid of it…" Elena said, her heart racing. "It's just wrong."

"But you… you're…" Reno shook his head. He was believing her; Elena could tell. "I'm goin' now…see ya tomorrow."

"Reno, you can't just run away… it's your child too…" Elena called after Reno as he made a swift exit. As soon as she heard the door slam, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. She couldn't believe he'd actually fallen for it. She could make so much out of this now…

* * *

Elena slept soundly, but woke abruptly as it was beginning to get light. She wasn't entirely sure what had disturbed her until she heard a loud ringing noise coming from her dresser. Heart racing, Elena jumped out of bed and grabbed her cell phone to answer it.  
"Hello?" she said groggily. It was too early in the morning.

"Elena? It's Rude." Came a husky reply.

"Oh, hey Rude." The blond sighed in relief; for some reason, she had half-expecting it to be Reno. "What is it?"

"Reno came banging my door down about half an hour ago… said something about you being pregnant?" Elena could hear the scepticism in his voice. "Is this true?"

"Is he in the room with you now?" Elena asked.

"No… he's asleep in the living room. Are you pregnant?"

"Of course not. I'm trying to teach him a lesson." Elena said matter of factly. "So don't tell him."

"Oh…" Rude said. Elena was sure he was smiling. "Okay then."

"Make sure he gets into work on time today… I want to talk to him about 'responsibilities." Elena said smugly.

"Hm…" Rude made a small noise of amusement. "All right then. I'll see you later."

* * *

It was strange, but the only person capable of making Reno do as he was told was Rude. Maybe it was just fear of the bald Turk's intimidating form, or maybe it was just the result of their very close friendship; Rude knew exactly how to push his buttons. That was why Elena was confident Reno would be in work when she got there, so she could wind up the poor redhead even more.

Still trying to keep her face straight, Elena entered through the main entrance to the the Shin-Ra building and headed straight for the cafeteria. There was still ten minutes until work actually started, and there was no way even Rude could have persuaded Reno to actually start _working _at 7:50 in the morning.

Sure enough, as Elena entered the cafeteria, the only two people there were Rude, and Reno who was sitting drinking coffee with a remarkably dull expression on his face.

"Hey guys…" Elena said quietly, dropping down on a chair beside Reno. "You okay, Reno?" she leant towards the redhead.

"Please tell me you're lying, 'Lena." The Turk burst out straight away. "I'm too young to be a dad."

"Reno… you're 26." Rude said amusedly. "Maybe it _is _time you settled down with a family."

"With 'Lena?" Reno asked. "Eew."

"Besides, they say you shouldn't have children past 30, so we'll be fine." Elena smiled grimly.  
"Uh, no shit. Don't you think 30 is enough? How many kids do ya want." Reno smirked. Well, at least he still has his sense of humor.

"You know I meant age. Don't be such a smart-alec." Elena snapped.

"Well yeah, ya know why they don't say people can have kids over 60? 'Cause they'd put them down and forget where they left them." Reno smirked slightly, but there was still a slight edginess about his voice and his eyes were darting back and forth, like they did when he was nervous.

"Reno, if you're talking about children, you'd probably do that at any age." came a voice from behind. Elena's heart leapt and she turned around to see their raven-haired superior. "Why are you talking about children anyway?" he asked.

"We're just talking hypothetically, sir." Elena said nervously.

"I see." Tseng nodded. "So, when are we planning on doing some work?"

"Right now, sir." Elena said quickly. Rude nodded in agreement, but Reno had other plans.

"Uh, no." the redhead pulled Elena arm towards him to look at her watch. "It's a full… two minutes till work starts. I'm not leavin' this chair till then."

"A little extra hard work never killed anyone, Reno." Tseng smiled, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, why take the chance?" the redhead asked, draining what looked like his third cup of coffee.

"Reno, you're harder to kill than a cockroach." Tseng looked very amused, "That's why we keep you, you know that as well as we do. Everyone knows that when you go out, you'll be kicking and screaming."

"Nah…" Reno looked thoughtful for a moment. "I wanna go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa did. Not screaming, scared shit-less like the passengers in his car."

Tseng smiled before adopting his serious face again. "Right, it's been two minutes. Get to work."

* * *

It had been a long, boring day, full of insults and arguments between Reno and Elena. Nothing out of the ordinary, but Elena could tell from the redhead's constant vague expression that he was panicking at the back of his mind about thinking he was going to become a father.

Elena stared at the redhead from her kitchen; he was sitting and watching her T.V, even though she couldn't remember inviting him in at all. Just because he'd been living there during his bet didn't mean it was a permanent move. Elena sighed as Reno flicked the channel over on the T.V yet again, and went to get herself a glass of water, not bothering to ask if Reno wanted anything.

"What's on the T.V?" the blond asked as she went back into the living room and sat down next to Reno.

"Erm, a potted-plant and a DVD player." Reno said grinning.

"Shut up." Elena snapped. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Ooh, calm down. I'm goin' in a sec." Reno turned off the T.V and sighed. "So… this is it then? It's true?"

"I know it's hard to accept…" Elena said quietly.

"No, no I believe you. I guess I'll just have to make a few changes." The redhead explained with an undecipherable expression on his face.

Elena swallowed hard. She was starting to feel guilty about this joke; was she going too far? Should she just come out straight and tell him? "What changes?" she asked awkwardly.

"Well, it's more you really." The corner of Reno's lips turned up into a smirk. "You should change your taste in clothes. I can't have my child growing up thinking its daddy's got bad taste."

"Hey!" Elena smacked him lightly upside the head.

"Now, now, don't get all hormonal on me." Reno grinned and stood up to leave. Elena frowned; Reno was still trying to make a joke out of this, like he didn't believe her.

"Reno…" she said quietly. "You won't… leave me, will you?"

"How am I s'posed to do that?" the redhead asked. "I see ya every day."

"No… I mean…" the younger Turk sighed dramatically. She knew well enough from a combination of T.V and some of her old friends how a pregnant person should act. She _had _to get him to believe her. "I can't raise a child on my own."

Elena's gaze travelled up to Reno's panicked face. She had him right where she wanted him; his eyes were wide, and his mouth slightly open. He kept making to say something but he seemed slightly lost for words. "Reno?" Elena injected her voice with worry.

"Y-yeah… I guess so." The redhead turned to leave.

"We'll talk about it more tomorrow, okay?" Elena called after him. He didn't see her smug smile.

"Yeah, sure…." Reno shouted back as he made a swift exit.

**

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A/N:

Such a harsh, harsh chapter, I know. All the Reno torture; I feel terrible about it XD. Sorry about the wait; and I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you think. Be nice though; I was writing this to try and cheer myself up; I haven't been too well lately. Let me know if you have any suggestions for the story; jokes, one-liners, or whole chapters, anything. I can't promise I'll use everything I get sent, but it really helps with inspiration, ya know? Thanks a lot guys, have a great week.

Note: On the editing part, this author's note will NOT go out of bold, so sorry about that


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Once again, I'm not sure how long it's been since I updated this, but I think I may have left it a little long. Oh well... by the way, to anyone who's wondering, I'm planning on makin' this story fairly long, probably about as long at the Reno diet, and I've had one person ask me if I'm gonna do a third story. The answer to that is, I have no idea.

On a slightly sadder note, some of you may know that Buster, the 'co-star' of this story, was in fact a real ferret. He was mine and I had him for 6 years... he died a couple of weeks ago. I'll still carry on puttin' him in this story though, as a little tribute more than anything.

Hope you all enjoy the chapter.

**

* * *

Chapter 9**

Elena had been looking forward to the next day for some reason. All night, she couldn't really sleep, and all she thought about was Reno's reaction to what was going on. He was clearly mortified, but it through his own prank that he was left in the lurch.

It wasn't long, although it was all too soon, when the alarm clock near Elena's head beeped obnoxiously. Sleepily, she slammed her hand somewhere in its directed until the racket stopped, and yawned widely. She really didn't want to get up; it was cold, and still dark outside, but at least she had her little plan that she was undergoing to cheer her up. She wondered what Reno was doing, if anything, and slipped out from underneath her bedclothes, stepping on the welcoming plush carpet.

It didn't take her long to get ready for work, but it was only as she was brushing her hair at the bathroom mirror, she had the suspicious feeling that someone was watching her. She tried to ignore it, but it was as though she could feel someone's eyes burning into her. She looked vaguely around the bathroom, but there was no one there. Perhaps it was just her sleep-deprived mind playing tricks on her.

Elena stepped out of her bathroom, closing the door behind her. She pulled her jacket over her shoulders and went to pick up her bag, when she heard a clattering coming from the next room. Cautiously, she made her way to the kitchen and peered around the door. Her heart leapt as she saw Reno standing, leaning on the kitchen counter, with a glass of water in one hand, and a very smug expression on his face.

"What have you done?" Elena asked automatically.

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Reno asked innocently, before gulping the water down and placing the glass on the counter.

"Reno, it's 7:30 in the morning… there's no way you'd be voluntarily up, let alone in my house, at this time in the morning unless you were up to something." Elena said matter-of-factly.

"You got me all wrong." Reno grinned. He still had that unfathomable, smug expression on his face. "I just came for an early morning stroll, ya know."

"Yeah, right." Elena sighed. "For one thing, now you're going to be early for work, because I'm leaving now, and you're gonna leave with me. You hate being early for work… " Elena couldn't help but smile at the still grinning redhead. "…come to think of it, you hate _work_."

"That's a lie!" Reno said defensively. "I like work. It fascinates me. I like to sit and stare at it for hours."

"Secondly... " Elena ignored the redhead's comment. "...it's a half hour walk from your place to mine. That would mean you've been up for at least 45 minutes. With you being so lazy, I don't think that's likely." Reno was obviously lost for words. "Now come on, we're leaving." The blond said sternly. She made to leave her apartment, and Reno followed, albeit pouting slightly.

As Elena stepped out into the cold air, she noticed straight away the car that was parked, rather badly, on the roadside. It was the black car that Reno always used.

"I thought you came for a 'stroll'?" Elena crossed her arms and looked at the redhead expectantly. He had a rather sheepish expression on his face.

"Oh… well…" he started awkwardly. "Okay, okay… I woke up early this morning an' got bored, so I drove over to see if you wanted a ride to work."

"Okay…" Elena eyed redhead suspiciously. It sounded more likely than his first story, but it still didn't sound like Reno. The redhead was certainly acting strangely lately, although Elena guessed it wasn't completely unexpected. Still, it wasn't like Reno to be up that early, whatever the circumstances.

In silence, Elena got into the passenger seat of Reno's car, as he got into the driver's side. This unexpected gesture from Reno would make her early for work, but it didn't really matter that much. At least she wouldn't be alone.

She watched as Reno hastily put his key in the ignition and started the car. The engine made a slightly worrying sound before kicking in, and the redhead wasted no time in putting his foot on the accelerator. It didn't take long until, as usual, Elena started to feel slightly sick.

"You know what..." Elena said queasily. "You ought to take your driving test again."

"Ya know what else?" Reno purposely pressed his foot on the accelerator further. "All you ever do is complain about my driving. It's quite hurtful actually." The redhead purposely put on a hurt expression.

"Well…" Elena said awkwardly despite of the fact that she knew Reno was only messing around. "It is terrible."

"Someone complimented my driving the other day actually…" Reno said casually. He was obviously not paying any attention to the road, which was quite worrying. "They left a little note on my window that said 'parking fine'."

"Were your parents related? Or is there some other reason for your stupidity?" Elena asked bluntly.

"Oh, I see…" Reno smirked, slowing down for the traffic. "You're already too far gone to take a joke."

"Shut up, Reno." Elena snapped jokingly. It was strange, after the initial shock had worn off; Reno seemed to be almost back to himself as far as this problem went. That wasn't what Elena wanted; so she had to pick things up a bit somehow.

* * *

Reno growled under his breath. He had been stuck in traffic for more than 2 minutes, and although most people could cope with that, Reno couldn't. It wouldn't be long before his temper snapped.

"Fuckin' hell… I swear this road had to be designed by someone who spent their childhood crashing toy trains." Reno hissed, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. "Did they not realize that traffic comes both ways?"

Elena stayed silent. To reply to that comment, as tempting as it was, would only provoke the redhead. It would be safer to just let him work off a little steam. After all, Elena had to let have these little luxuries in life.

After a couple more minutes of cursing and horn-blowing from Reno, they made it through the traffic. Why the redhead had made such a fuss however, was beyond Elena. It wasn't as if they were late for work, and even if they were, Reno wouldn't care. Before long, they were parked up outside the Shin-Ra building, and the two Turks were getting out of the car, slamming the doors shut.

"Time for another day in the job I love so much." Reno grinned as he locked the car up.

"Reno…" Elena decided now was the time to take her plan further. "Can you remember what happened on that night? You know…?"

"What…? Oh… umm… I dunno really… to be honest I was only jokin' when I said I thought you might be pregnant… I didn't know things went that far…"

Elena resisted the urge to smirk. "Oh right… so did you really get that drunk?"

"I dunno… I can't remember." Reno muttered, turning to enter the building. Elena took this opportunity to smile behind the redhead's back. That unsure response was enough to answer Elena's question, but she figured he must have been pretty drunk to have even accepted that Elena was pregnant. She always thought Reno could handle his alcohol pretty well, so either she was wrong, or he had actually drunk a ridiculous amount. She followed the redhead who was almost already at the entrance door before he noticed that Elena wasn't behind him. The blonde ran over to catch up while he waited by the door.

"What's the matter? Legs not workin' properly?" Reno smirked. "Well, I s'pose you are carryin' another person now, ain't ya?" he laughed evilly and then entered the building, holding the door open for Elena.

"If we weren't already at work, I'd slap you." Elena said, blushing slightly. Sometimes Reno knew exactly how to cross the line. "So… you must've drunk a lot, huh?" she decided now was a good time to press the issue, especially since Reno was going to be a jerk.

"Dunno…" Reno muttered, walking alongside Elena.

"Haven't you read about what drinking can do to you? It can make you infertile." The blonde said, yet again holding back a smirk.

"Now ya tell me. If I'd've known that I'd've drained the bar completely." Reno replied, slightly miserably. "Besides, I've read about the evils of alcohol…"

"What did you do then?" Elena inquired.

"I gave up reading." Reno ended the conversation just as they turned a corner and almost walked into Tseng, who looked in a hurry. "S'up, boss-man." Reno said casually.

"Early? Is he ill?" their raven-haired superior asked politely. Elena smiled. "Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you two."

"Sir?" Elena inquired.

"Yes, I have a mission for you. It seems that with our information theft problem, our suspects were a mistaken identity."

"Weren't it that fat bastard? Don Corneo?" Reno asked rudely. A passer-by in the corridor shot him a strange look before hurrying on.

"Well, we figured as much… but there are new suspects. I don't know if you remember King and his Fight Club?"

"Oh… yeah…" Reno face sunk at that point, although Elena wasn't quite sure why. No doubt it was because of past missions a long time before Elena joined the Turks.

"Well, he and his grunts have regrouped in Wall Market as well. I want you to go over and investigate it. This time, be discreet as possible."

"Don't be stupid, discreet is my middle name." Reno stuck his tongue out at Tseng, who determinedly ignored him.

"Everything okay, Elena?" The black-haired man asked. Elena nodded her head. "Okay, Reno? I've left the file for the mission on your desk, but you won't need to take it with you. It's just for reference, and you'll have plenty of paperwork to do when you get back."

"Ooh, my favourite." Reno said in a silly tone. "Can't wait."

"Good luck." Tseng nodded promptly and left the two younger Turks.

"He's out to kill me, I swear…" Reno said, eying his superior's back with an evil glare. "I'm not even gonna go into what happened last time I met King and his little bunch of man-whores that are so far out of the closet no amount of elastic could pull 'em back in. I swear, I'm no homophobe, but they scare the shit outta me… I think I phrased that wrong…"

Elena laughed as they made their way to Reno's office to take a quick look at the folder Tseng had left there. She didn't know much about King, but it seemed that Reno was being pushed further into situations he clearly wasn't going to like. How he was going to react to that however, was anyone's guess. Elena just had to make sure she didn't annoy the redhead enough to make him lose it altogether.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading =D I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I managed to squeeze a few jokes in there (yes, I know I make a lot of driving jokes). Please take a few minutes to let me know what you thought. And just in case I don't update before then (hopefully I will) I hope you all have a happy Christmas!!


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I feel like I'm saying this everytime I update now, but sorry about the wait! I've been busy this last week, because I had to move house. If you've been reading my stories for a long time, you're probably thinking I'm always saying I'm moving house in my A/N's. Well, I _am _being serious XD. Difficult times ya know...

But whatever, it took me a while to find the inspiration to write this chapter, but then I saw something on T.V that inspired me. Ahh, T.V always saves the day.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

**

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Chapter 10

The journey to Wall Market was a memorable one. The two Turks sat in a carriage on the train towards Sector 5, practically in silence. The last few passengers that had remained in the carriage when the Turks entered had fled inconspicuously when the redhead almost put his foot through the floor, in an attempt to vent his frustration.

"This sucks _so _much…" Reno sighed as he tapped his foot impatiently on the pole near his seat. They had been on the train for at least 3 minutes, and it was quite miraculous that it had taken him so long to speak. Elena kept quiet. She wasn't sure why every little thing seemed to be tipping the redhead overboard, but it was quite worrying actually. With Reno in such a bad mood on a mission, something was bound to go wrong.

"Reno?" Elena said warily, after the redhead appeared to not want to carry on with his ranting.

"Don't worry, Elena… there are few personal problems that can't be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. Those dirty bastards make one wrong move, and _boom_!" The redhead laughed evilly, which slightly worried Elena. It wasn't just what he said, but also the way that he said it.

"What happened last time you went to King's fight club?" The blond asked, doing her best to ignore him.

"Well…" The redhead sighed loudly. "You know how I said they were pretty damn far outta the closet? I experienced that first hand…"

"You mean-?" Elena laughed slightly.

"Yes." Reno snapped. "Now drop it."

"Haha, don't worry Reno, I'll protect you." Elena giggled slightly. It was too easy to get on Reno's already fractured nerves. "I'll be okay if they don't like women."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that… you'd probably confuse them." Reno grinned at Elena evilly. The blond flushed; how did he always manage to turn anything around to insult her? She fell silent after that, despite knowing that by doing so she would only give Reno the satisfaction of knowing he had outsmarted her.

* * *

Once at Sector 5, it was only a case of walking a few hundred yards to the entrance of Wall Market. Elena was desperately hoping that Reno actually knew where he was going, and where King and his fight club had regrouped.

"Now then…" Reno bit his lip as they entered the garish, slum-town. "Where the hell are these idiots at then?"

"Why didn't you bother reading the file that Tseng left in your office?" Elena asked snappily. "It might have helped you know."

"Yeah, yeah…" Reno waved off her complaining casually. "I did read it anyway…"

"No, you _said _you were going to read it, but unless you read it in 3 seconds flat, no you didn't, because that's how long you had that file open for." Elena said bluntly.

"You talk too much." Reno said, beginning to walk forwards. Elena sighed as she followed him. That was the line he _always _used whenever he knew he was wrong, yet for some reason, the blond could never think of a comeback. Perhaps it was because he always made it clear the conversation was over before she had the chance to.

The redhead paused and looked to his right, towards the neon manor, with a strange, thoughtful expression on his face. He furrowed his brow before shaking his head. "I don't get these guys…" he said finally.

Elena said nothing, only waited in anticipation for Reno's plan. Eventually, he turned back around to face the blond, and held up his hand.

"Just wait here, and don't move." He began to walk towards the manor, and Elena was about to shout after him. He always did that, and Elena did not like being left alone in such a horrible place. She could see already people were shooting her sly glances as they made their way to their destination. Elena just stood with her head high, looking purposeful; she knew the worst thing she could do was to put her head down to try and not be noticed.

"Hey there, sweetheart…" someone said, finally deciding to talk to her. Elena swallowed hard and stared at the man in front of her. He was slightly stocky, but thankfully did not look too tough, however, he did look incredibly familiar. "Ya boyfriend dumped ya?"

"Something like that…" Elena gritted her teeth. _Just agree with him and he'll go away…_

"Why don't ya make your way over to the Don's mansion?" He asked with a sly grin. "You'll get treated right there."

"No thanks… I think I'd prefer to just get over the loss of my… _boyfriend _first." Elena said sarcastically. Thankfully the man didn't noticed disdain in her voice.

"I could go sort him out if ya want." The man looked over in Reno's direction. The redhead was talking to another man outside the manor.

"No, that's okay…" Elena said awkwardly. The man was a lot short than Reno, but he looked a lot more sturdy in build. She only hoped he didn't do anything stupid.

"Hang on a sec… you… how come you're both dressed the same?"

"Umm…" Elena was losing her confidence. "We were…"

"Come to think of it…" The man carried on, placing a finger on his chin. Elena couldn't help but notice he had a slight bruise on his face. It was yellow-ish, so it was definitely from several days before. "No chicks 'round here dress like that…"

Elena thanked God that the man was so stupid, but also found herself praying that Reno returned soon.

"Have I see you around here before?" the man asked.

"Don't think so." The blond replied quickly. Then it clicked in her mind why the man was so familiar. It had been the man that had thrown himself at Reno when they'd been leaving Wall Market last time. Reno had punched him, and left him out cold on the floor. "Hey, I've heard King has regrouped around here… isn't that trouble for the Don?" Elena asked, quickly changing her mind on how to deal with the situation; she couldn't always reply on Reno after all. She loosened her stature and softened her gaze.

"Yeah, yeah… it is." The man looked up and nodded. His pride had gotten in the way, and he was obviously desperate to share his small amount of knowledge with somebody. "But thankfully King don't steal all the girls… apparently he's… ya know."

"Yeah, I heard." Elena smiled as sweetly as she could manage. "So where is he then? Anywhere near Don Corneo's mansion?"

"Ya could say that… he's got his fight club 'round at the gym… though apparently he spends a lot of his time over in that manor…" he motioned to the right. "Oh, you're boyfriend's come crawlin' back."

Elena looked over at Reno, her heart leaping. She hadn't even noticed him approaching. "Gettin' friendly with the local's, eh 'Laney?"

"Yeah…" the man answered for Elena. "I'm just persuading her to try goin' over to the Don's mansion… where she'd be treated better than you treat her." He practically spat at Reno, who merely looked completely bemused.

"What ya talkin' about?" Reno looked at Elena, who shook her head desperately. "Whatever… anyway, I need to talk to you." The blond was shocked to see he was talking to the man.

"Wait... I recognize you!" the man said suddenly, a dawn of realization washing over his face. "You… you're Turks!"

"That's right, chump." Reno grabbed the man by the collar and forced him roughly into the wall behind Elena. "Now ya better start talkin', and I can leave ya to ya business."

"This… this b-better not involve the Don!" the man said, unnerved now.

"Course not…" Reno said politely, letting go of the man's collar. His stance made it clear that if the man tried to run, he would regret it. "King… he's at the gym, but apparently, I need a pass to get in. Where can I get one?"

"I have passes." The man said curtly, whilst rearranging his collar. "But _she _won't get in."

"Let me worry about that, now gimme them passes." Reno said forcefully.

"Why would Turk's wanna get in there anyway?" the man took two passes out of his pocket and passed them to Reno. "Although you do look the type that King would go for…"

"Shut it!" Reno almost shouted, before recollecting himself. Elena couldn't help but smile. "Now, give me your jacket.

"Why do you need that!?" The man asked defensively. "It's mine."

The redhead sighed. "I'll leave it at the Don's mansion when I'm done with it, don't panic." Reno held his hand out, and the man took his jacket off and handed it to him reluctantly.

"I had absolutely nothing to with this…" The man said quietly. "You even mention me, and I'll-"

"Don't flatter yourself." Reno raised an eyebrow and slung the jacket over his shoulder. "Your name, which I don't even know, will go unmentioned."

The man made a curt 'hmph' and walked off, leaving Elena and Reno alone. The redhead smiled sheepishly.

"C'mon." Reno said, beginning to walk towards the bar. "Let's go find a bathroom."

"Would you _mind-_" Elena said, racing after the redhead. "-telling me what the _hell _you're thinking once in a while?"

"Yeah, sure. You're gonna become one of the only female transvestites in this shitty little town." Reno smirked.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, I know - quite a strange last line. But SERIOUSLY!!! This chapter was such a pain in the neck to write! If there's one thing I hate, it's saying 'the man' over and over in a story. That's why I usually turn random characters into actual people and give them names and stuff, but this time it seemed a little pointless. But whatever, it's done now! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as usual, if you have any ideas or requests, whether it's one-liners or whole chapters, let me know!

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	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Okay, when I first started this chapter, I liked it, but now I'm not so sure. I think it's a bit too draw-out, and I was gonna put more in it, but it got too long. So whatever, hope you guys enjoy it anyway! Just a warning, this chapter has references to things some of you more sensitive people might not like :)**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11**

"What!?" Elena grabbed the redhead's wrist to stop him from walking. Reno turned sharply and looked at her, a smirk still plastered across his features. "You'd better be joking, or-"

"Or what?" Reno laughed lightly. "C'mon 'Lena, just look at it as a bit of fun, an experience, ya know…"

"A bit of fun?" Elena said exasperatedly. "If someone asked _you _to dress up like a woman, would you do it?"

"Well…" Reno grinned in such a perverse manner, Elena put a finger over his mouth to shut him up before he could be vulgar.

"I don't want to hear it." Elena shook her head. It was dawning on her that she wasn't likely to get her way out of this. "How am I supposed to pass off as a… man?"

"Easy." Reno smiled. "I'll getcha a big shirt or something, to hide your… ya know. Then ya where this jacket… maybe get ya some new shoes or something…"

"Yeah, there's just one flaw in your genius." Elena said bluntly. "Where are you going to get clothes like that from in a hurry? The only shop around here that sells clothes only does women's clothes, and we don't have time to go anywhere else."

"That's also easily solved." Reno tapped the side of his head, never losing his knowing smirk. "Watch and learn, 'Laney."

Reno turned to face where most of the people in Wall Market were walking, and stood up straight, as though he were scouting the area. Suddenly, his face lit up as something obviously caught his eye.

"Oi, you!" he shouted. A large man turned and looked at Reno with a slightly lost expression on his face. "Yeah, you. C'mere a minute."

The man did as he was told and approached the two Turks. Elena had to admit, the redhead could have probably picked a better person to shout at, because the man looked like he could rip both of them in two with little effort.

"What?" the man said in a deep, threatening voice.

"Give ya twenty gil for that shirt?" Reno suggested with an idiotic grin on his face.

"Twenty?" The man raised a heavy eyebrow.

"C'mon, it's only worth ten, tops." The redhead said.

"Ah, go on then." The man sighed and shed his jacket, then his shirt which he handed to Reno. Elena thanked God that the man was wearing another t-shirt underneath the shirt; she didn't really like the idea of seeing the man half-naked. Reno handed the promised twenty gil to the man and raised a hand. The man shrugged, pocketed the money, and then walked off.

"Heh, that was too easy." Reno scratched the back of his head and handed the shirt, as well as the previously pilfered jacket to Elena, who put them over her arm. "Now… shoes?" The redhead looked down at Elena's footwear sceptically. "Not too bad actually, ya might get away with those… these trousers are gonna be a problem though."

"Since when did you become a fashion expert?" Elena hissed at Reno. "And stop staring at me, people are going to get ideas."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Reno stood back up straight again and put a finger on his chin, as though deep in thought. "Okay… take that stuff to the bathroom in the bar." Reno pointed to the clothing in Elena's arm. "Get changed, and don't come out of there until I get back; I'll meet you in there, okay?"

"O-okay…?" Elena stuttered, staring at Reno slightly disbelievingly.

"Super." Reno grinned and waved his hand, before hurrying somewhere in the direction of the Honeybee Manor. Elena shook her head and headed towards the direction of the bar, like Reno told her to. The blond was slightly at a loss as to how Reno couldn't see the disturbing nature of every part of their current situation.

Hoping that nobody was watching her, Elena entered the bar and skulked her way over to the bathroom, threw the clothes on the tiled floor, and shut and locked the door behind her. If the bathroom wasn't unisex, she would have been slightly worried as to how Reno could have gotten away with going in there with her. Sighing loudly, took off her own jacket and shirt, and pulled on the one's Reno had purloined. They were quite a bit too big for her, but as Reno had predicted, they did make her look more masculine. Elena sighed and sat up on the toilet cistern, wondering vaguely how the situation could get any more embarrassing.

* * *

"'Lena, 'Lena… quick!" A loud banging and shout from outside made Elena jump. She wasn't sure whether she had actually been half asleep or just day dreaming, but she instantly wished she could go back there.

Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Elena jumped to her feet and opened the bathroom door. Reno rushed in a closed the door behind him, panting heavily. Elena looked at his dishevelled appearance expectantly. His hair was messed up, and there appeared to be more buttons on his shirt undone than usual. His face was flushed, and there was something about his expression that told Elena he had just been through something mortifying. He stuffed the obviously recently acquired black trousers into Elena's arms and swallowed, trying to catch his breath.

"If I close my eyes, can I stay in here while you change?" Reno finally said, his eyes widening.

"Why?" Elena raised an eyebrow, just as there was a loud banging from the door.

"_Hey! Are you in there?!"_ came a gruff shout from outside the door.

"That's why." Reno whispered. "Please?"

Elena smiled slightly as Reno pulled his best innocent look, and nodded her head. "Turn around." she said quietly. As quickly as she could, she pulled off her uniform trousers, and pulled on the other ones. They were quite similar, except her 'new' ones were a lot bigger. Elena felt the effect was quite good, despite the fact that she really didn't want to look like a man.

Elena looked at Reno, who was sitting hunched up on the floor. He looked terrified as he point toward the bottom of the door, and mouthed 'they're still there.'

Elena sighed and walked over to the door, pressing a finger over her mouth to motion for the redhead to stay quiet. Reluctantly, the blond opened the bathroom door.

"Can I help you?" She asked innocently. She was face to face with two men; at least a foot taller than Reno and about three times as wide. She flushed instantly.

"Oh… sorry, ma'am." One of the two stuttered. "We thought some guy was in there."

"Well, I can assure you there _isn't._" The blond deliberately took a look of false shock and stared angrily at the men. "Can you leave me in peace now?" Elena prayed that her voice wasn't coming out as terrified as she felt inside.

"O-of course." The other man said embarrassedly. He and his friend stumbled off, leaving Elena with a strange sense of pride.

"Nice one, 'Lena." Reno stood up and grinned.

"What happened?" Elena replied in a much more serious tone.

"I'd rather not talk about it…" The redhead shuddered. "Just remember I went through a lot to get those trousers for you."

"For me?" Elena stared at him, wondering what he had done at the Honeybee Manor that had made him so sickened. The more Elena thought about it, however, the less she wanted to know."It wasn't my idea in the first place-"

"Yeah, yeah 'Laney. We got more important things to worry 'bout right now anyway."

Elena nodded and looked at herself in the full length mirror on the wall. She didn't look in any way attractive, she was never one that could pull off wearing clothes that were too big for her, but body-wise, she thought she could pass into the King's fight club unnoticed.

"Not bad, not bad." Reno nodded, eying Elena up and down. "You'll make a better man than my bald friend back at home. I might ask to be re-partnered."

Elena raised an eyebrow at Reno's sly remark but ignored him otherwise. The redhead seemed to preoccupied with Elena's appearance. "C'mere." He said, stepping closer to Elena. He ran his hand through her hair. "So, ya can go for the 'dirty tramp' look, or ya can look somethin' like Rufus. Which is it gonna be?"

"I don't care, Reno." Elena sighed. "Just hurry up."

"Okay, okay…" Elena closed her eyes as the redhead ruffled her hair up roughly with his bony fingers. It only took him a few moments before he was happy with the result, and he moved on to run his thumbs underneath her eyes. After a minute or so, Elena looked in the mirror, slightly shocked at how subtle things like that had changed her appearance so much.

Her hair was messier, and more over her face, to hide her softer features, and Reno had smudged the eyeliner from under her eyes. She could still see the femininity about her, but it was subtle enough not to be judged.

"Ready?" the redhead smiled, although slightly awkwardly.

"What?" Elena asked defensively.

"Nothin'… it's just weird lookin' at a woman who's pregnant with my kid… who is now dressed like a guy." Reno laughed slightly, before opening the bathroom door and leaving, waiting for Elena to follow him. The blond did so, albeit extremely self-consciously.

* * *

Reno smiled arrogantly as he handed over two passes to the well-built man outside the gym. Elena knew the worst thing she could do was to look down and try and remain hidden, because then she would attract more attention. She didn't really want to stare anyone directly in the face either, just in case they saw through her disguise, so she fixed her gaze on the building in front of her. Whilst waiting for Reno to talk the man outside around, Elena got to thinking. She thought about what Reno was making her do, and decided that the only way she could bring herself to actually do this would be just look at it realistically; she would only be like that for a few hours tops, before they could go back, and Elena could fix it so Reno would never have children with anyone.

* * *

**A/N: **And it turned out I did the same in this chapter as I did with the last one. Why am I so bent on putting random, name-less characters in this? Oh well... Also, the Honeybee Manor; that stupid manor in Wall Market, you all know what I'm talkin about. I have no idea what it's called. I just knew it was something like that lol.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: **I woulda had this up like, three days ago, but this website has been screwin me over so badly! I managed to write this pretty quick, but for once I'm actually quite pleased with how it turned out. Once again, there are some parts of this that more sensitive people might not like!

Enjoy!

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Chapter 12

Mortifying. Elena thought about it for a long time, and mortifying was the only suitable word she could come up with to describe the current situation. She hadn't been listening to what Reno had been saying to the man outside the gym, but it had only just clicked in her mind that Reno might have more problems than she would have.

The redheaded Turk was still in his Turk uniform. Elena may have been wearing some random man's suit trousers, but she still had a blue shirt and brown jacket that Reno had got for her. Interested in how the redhead would get his way out of this situation, Elena keyed into their conversation.

"…what's with the uniform?" the man asked. He had an irritated expression on his face, and Elena was slightly worried about the size of most of the men at Wall Market. She wasn't sure if Reno was any match for them.

"Hmm?" Reno raised an eyebrow casually. "Oh, this?" He pointed down to himself with a brighter expression on his face. "Boss makes me wear this. Trust me; I wouldn't if it were up to me."

"What'd'ya do?" the man asked patiently, crossing his arms.

"I do… a bit of this and that… sometimes dirty work, ya know." Reno grinned.

"You two ain't freakin' _Turks _or nothin' are ya?" the man motioned to Elena, who prayed that she wasn't blushing. She didn't want to blow Reno's plan, whatever it was. Thankfully, the man proceeded in ignoring Elena again as he resumed his conversation with Reno.

"Turks?" Reno laughed lightly. "Pfft, yeah. Do I look like a Turk?"

"Well-"

"Half the shit I've heard they do, I'd drop dead in an hour… pulmonary aspergillosis, ya know." Reno explained. Elena didn't have the slightest clue what he had just said, but it seemed to work.

"All right, all right. Sorry about that. Ya can't be too careful, can ya?" The man said, checking Reno's two passes again. "The Turks are always snoopin' around here…"

"Yeah, tell me about it. Bastards give us a load of trouble as well." Reno said casually. Elena wasn't sure how he managed to lie so blatantly to someone; she'd never been able to herself.

"Yeah, yeah… okay, go on in. You guys have fun." The man stepped back and let the two Turks enter to gym. Elena almost did a double-take at being referred to as a 'guy', but then her mind caught up with, and she followed Reno into the gym.

Inside the gym it was even harder for Elena to find the will to carry on with this so-called mission. They were inside a large room, which was filled with gym equipment, a boxing ring, and a lot of men with not too much on. The smallest of the men in there was probably about twice Reno's weight, so Elena was silently willing Reno not to do anything stupid.

"Hey, there." A man walked over and immediately began talking to the two of them. "You're both a little different-looking, you okay?"

"Yeah…" Reno looked the man up and down slightly disgustedly, and Elena did the same. He was one of the largest men there, and he was wearing bright orange swimming shorts, and nothing else. He had no hair on his head, and he looked like he had been bald for a long time, since there was no difference in the color of his head and his neck. Despite his size, there was a kind, effeminate quality about his big brown eyes that made it easier for Elena to feel more comfortable.

"Well…" He carried on. "You just get yourself familiar with the regulars first. They're all a friendly bunch."

"Yeah, I _bet _they are…" Reno muttered as he walked off to talk to someone else. Elena had the feeling the man in orange swimming shorts didn't hear him as he moved closer to talk to Elena.

"Hey… I umm…" The man stuttered. Elena could feel her face flushing already. "I don't suppose you have his number…?" he pointed back to Reno. "Between you and me, I think he's kinda cute."

"Um…" Elena hesitated before something clicked in her mind. Pay-back… again. "Yeah, sure!" she said, as enthusiastically as she could manage. "I have his number…"

Elena wasn't stupid enough to let on Reno's work number, but she happened to know that Reno had a separate cell phone that he used for personal things. Elena dreaded to think what was already on that cell phone, but she smirked as she wrote his number down on a piece of paper and handed it to the man.

"Thanks so much." The man was positively beaming. "If there's any way I can repay you…"

"_No!_" Elena said, a little too loudly. "No, thanks, it's fine."

"Oh… okay then. Ya know… I don't really like any of the guys that come here… I prefer the smaller guys, ya know?" He nodded happily then continued. "It's not often we get guys like you in here… what's his name, anyway?"

"Umm… why don't you ask him? He likes to talk about himself, I know that much…" Elena stared over at Reno, who was chatting to a less intimidating man.

"What about you? What's your-?"

"'Laney!" there were interupted by a shout from Reno from the other side of them room. "Over here!"

The whole room fell silent, and the man next to Elena stared down at her. "'Laney?" he asked.

"Yeah… 'Laney!" Reno said happily. He was obviously trying to cover his own tracks, and tried to ignore her pounding heart as she listened to him. "Short for… Leonard."

"Leonard?" The man said, in a slightly warmer tone. "Aww, so you have a pet name? That's sweet…"

Elena laughed unsurely, then rushed over to speak to Reno. "Leonard?" she hissed. "What kind of name to give me is that?"

"Sorry, it was the best I could think of." Reno replied quietly. "But I mean, could these guys get any more gay?"

"Um… Reno?" Elena began but Reno hushed her.

"Listen… see that door over there?" he whispered. "The-"

"Excuse me… Leonard?" a voice said behind Elena. It took the blond a minute to catch on, but then she remembered and turned to see the orange-shorts clad man from earlier.

"Oh, yeah?" Elena smiled.

"Can I… uh… speak to your friend for a moment?" he asked nervously.

"Oh! Yes, of _course _you can!" Elena grinned and stepped back to allow the larger man to talk to Reno more openly. "Would you like me to leave?"

"No, no, it's okay." The man said. "I just wanted to ask you… your name?"

"My name?" Reno's look was nothing less than sheer terror.

"Yeah… 'cause I was wondering if you wanted to… you know… do something some time…" The man's voice was extremely quiet and his cheeks were flushed. "It's okay if you…"

Reno raised both his eyebrows and stared at the man incredulously. Elena had to stop herself from laughing as the redhead's aquamarine eyes travelled all the way up to the man's bald head.

"Um…"

"Your friend Leonard gave me your number. He seems to think that we'll get along nicely." The man looked back to Elena, who had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

"What?!" Reno's voice turned suddenly very high-pitched. "You know what… call me sometime… if you have to… we've got… things to do."

"Yeah, okay…" The man left the two of them alone, his face looking slightly crest-fallen. Reno stared at his retreating form and heaved a great sigh of relief.

"I am never, never, ever gonna look at Rude in the same way, ever again." He said finally, still looking at the large man's bald head. Elena laughed and tapped Reno on the shoulder lightly to try and bring him back to his senses.

"What were you saying?" she asked him.

"What?" Reno turned from staring at the man and looked at Elena. "Oh right… yeah, that door over there…" he pointed at the door again. "This King guy is back there… let's go."

"Well, let's hope he doesn't go for the little guys as well." Elena smirked.

"What?"

"Nothing, let's go."

* * *

Elena wasn't exactly sure how they were going to get back into the King's room, but no doubt Reno had a plan. As they approached the door, a man stepped in their way. Thankfully, he wasn't as big as the last man, but he didn't have the kindness in his face. He was probably the most suitably dressed person in there, save for Reno and Elena, in dark brown cargo trousers, and no shirt.

"What you want?" he grunted.

"We wanna see the King…" Reno said, with an eyebrow raised.

"What for?"

"To sell him freakin' flowers!" the redhead replied loudly. He put a hand over his face and sighed loudly. "Sorry, it's been a long day. He's met me before… a very long time ago. I wanted to pay him another visit."

"Okay…" the man eyed the two Turks sceptically. "Wait here. I'll go tell him you're here."

"That's twice you've nearly blown this…" Elena hissed at her companion as soon as the man went through the door. "You'd better watch out."

"Yeah, well you ain't had a guy comin' on to ya!" Reno said. After a second his mind caught up with his mouth and he laughed. "Oh…"

Before Elena could say anything else, the door opened again, and the man in the cargo pants stepped out, looking slightly irritated.

"King says go on in." he said bluntly. "But don't try any funny stuff."

"You should be tell-"

Elena clapped her hand over Reno's mouth to shut him up, and then smiled pleasantly at the man, who merely frowned. "Thank you."

She had to practically drag the redhead into the room, resulting in a strange look from the man standing guard. Elena sighed, closing the door behind them, and turned to look at what they were up against.

The room they were in reminded Elena immensely of Don Corneo's mansion, except it was much smaller. There were garish decorations about the place, and right in the centre on a throne-like chair sat what Elena took to be the King. He was a squat man, with dark skin, and thick, dark hair. He wasn't quite as repulsive as Don Corneo, but it was a close one. Thankfully, this man wasn't as scantily clad as the men in the gym, wearing a black dress-suit, and there were two men standing either side of him. These men looked similar in stature, and both wore black suits similar to that of the King's.

"What can I help you with?" The King said. Elena didn't know if his voice was naturally so husky, but he was eying Reno in a worrying manner.

"Hey there…" Reno's voice was much lower than Elena ever remembered, and it was disturbing to see the expression on his face. "I wonder if it's at all possible for these two nice gentlemen to leave the room for a moment?"

"Yes, yes of course. Leave." The King commanded. The two men nodded and left the room through the same door Reno and Elena had entered through, leaving King and the two Turks alone.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh god, the last bit sickens me so much! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... it just has to be done. One person has already read this and they think it's funny, so yeah XD And yeah, Leonard... it was the first male name beginning with 'L' I could think of. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and please take time to review to let me know what you think. I got my first couple of flames this last week, so I could really use something nice :(

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	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Sorry, again, about the wait. I've had a lot of work to do, and I took really ill yesterday. I'm still recovering. This chapter is shorter than normal, and I think it's got a lot more speech in it, but I'm fairly happy with it. Before anyone complains about me 'copying' a TV programme, I'll say now that part of this was inspired by The Simpsons. So yeah, I don't own it. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry about it.

I think that's about it. Enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 13

"Now then…" The King said in a quiet husky voice as soon as the door had been closed. "What can I do you two nice gentlemen for?"

"I don't know if you remember me…" Reno moved forwards, his eyes heavy. "I met you a very long time ago…"

"Ooh… yes." The King smirked. "I don't meet many redheads. You didn't seem so keen last time though."

"Yeah?" Reno's eyes widened again, and he looked back at Elena knowingly. "Well this time I _am _interested… we _both _are."

"Oh really?" The King laughed in a self-satisfied manner. He straightened himself up in his seat and looked from one Turk to another. "I'm sure I could… help you…"

"Good." Reno looked at Elena and winked. Hoping she got the hint right, Elena moved more to the King's right, while Reno moved to the left. "Now…" He and Elena almost simultaneously pulled his arms backwards and forced him forwards in his seat. Pulling a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket, Reno snapped them around the man's thick wrist, and let go of him. The King didn't look entirely unnerved, but he did seem curious as to what was going on.

"Scream and you'll get it right now." Reno whispered in his ear. The King let out a small whimpering noise, but fell silent. "We want information."

"You – you're Turks, aren't you?" The King stuttered.

"Right in one." Reno grinned. "Now tell me, are you passing information to AVALANCHE?"

"No!" The King almost shouted, but then caught on and lowered his voice. "I didn't! I swear! It wasn't-"

"Don't play dumb, King." Reno hissed. "Who's behind it?"

"I've never had any contact with AVALANCHE!" The victim squirmed, pulling at his handcuffs. "I've been interrogated before though…" The King trailed off at that, and looked emptily into Reno's pitiless face.

"Who by?" Elena asked interestedly.

"I… can't t-tell you!" The King looked like he was close to tears by the time Reno gave a heaving sigh and suddenly looked a lot less interested in the interrogation.

"If I had a free meal for every time someone said that to me, I'd be suffering from various weight-related illnesses." Reno paced up and down in front of the King, who watched his every move. "I _know _you've been threatened and bribed into not lettin' the cat outta the bag, but listen up; _I'm _threatenin' ya now. Tell me, or I'm gonna practise my surgery skills on ya."

"Make things easy for yourself." Elena added pleadingly. She wasn't sure if the King had caught onto the fact that Elena was in fact a woman, but she didn't much care anymore.

The King sighed shakily and screwed his face up for a few moments. "I… there's a rebel group, originating in Wutai."

"Who are they?" Reno asked, slightly calmer at that point.

"I don't know any names, I swear." King looked away from Reno briefly. The latter stepped forwards and hit the King forcefully.

"Don't mess with us." The redhead spat.

"O-okay! Some guy from AVALANCHE has c-contacts with the p-people that run the bar up there." The King said, almost inaudibly fast. Reno seemed to pick it up though, as he nodded and smirked.

"That's all I need to know." He said in a slightly evil tone. "C'mon, 'Laney."

The redhead made to leave, but Elena called him back. "Reno, don't you need to… you know-" she motioned to the handcuffed man sitting in the chair nearby. Reno quickly rolled his eyes and went over to free the King.

"Don't think ya off the hook yet." Reno narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him, whom was now rubbing his wrists. "I ain't no chump, and we'll be comin' back for ya if I find out you were lyin'."

"Yes, yes… of course." The King said, in a slightly irritated voice. "Please… just leave."

"Sure. We've humiliated ya enough…" Reno turned to leave, but once more seemed to change his mind. "One more thing; don't run away to try and get outta this. We have our sources, and we'd track ya in less than a day, and get all the information we need before putting a bullet through ya head."

"Okay, okay, there's no need to be so-"

"Consider it a… friendly warning." Reno smiled in a sickeningly sweet way and made for the door, Elena followed, feeling _slightly _more comfortable than she had done before. She heard the King mutter something before she closed the door forcefully behind the two of them.

* * *

Back at Shin-Ra headquarters, Reno seemed to be in a foul mood since he first stepped through the entrance door. Elena wasn't sure way either, considering how much their latest mission had been in his favor, but she didn't really want to question him. She did wonder vaguely whether the 'pregnancy' was on his mind again; it was certainly on Elena's mind.

"Strawberries." Elena said bluntly to the redhead, who had been sitting innocently stirring a cup of coffee.

"Excuse me?" Reno raised an eyebrow, looking up from his coffee.

"I want some strawberries." Why Elena had picked strawberries, she didn't know. She only knew she had to fake as many symptoms of pregnancy as possible, half to make the charade realistic, and half to irritate the hell out of Reno.

"Well, good luck with that." The older Turk looked back down to his coffee, still stirring unnecessarily.

"Reno… _please_?" Elena looked pleadingly at Reno who completely ignored her. "Go get me some."

"Be quiet." He snapped in response. "Go get ya own damn strawberries."

"Okay, what's eating you?" Elena gave up on her strawberry pledge and leaned further in to Reno.

"Oh I dunno…" he said sarcastically. "Maybe it's something to do with my _work colleague _actually being pregnant with _my _baby, the fact that there's absolutely nothin' I can do 'bout it… and _now _we're gonna have to go to freakin' Wutai."

"Wutai? What's so bad about Wutai?" Elena enquired. She didn't really understand why the redhead would be so annoyed about the information they'd found out.

"I dunno, I just don't like it. It's the kinda place where you order a chicken salad sandwich and you end up with some dish with a name which means, when you look it up in a dictionary, means 'eel with big abscess.'"

"I would watch your mouth if I were you." came a voice from behind Elena. The blond turned reluctantly to see Tseng standing there, with Rude behind him. "Unless you want me to give you a very good reason to claim disability allowance from me."

"Sorry, sir. I got him wound up a little." Elena said, trying to stop herself from giggling.

"Disability allowance? What in the hell do you get that for?"

"Loads of things." Elena said vaguely. "Breaking a leg, serious illnesses… weighing in at over 300 pounds."

"Weighing in at over 300 pounds?" Reno's face lit up, and Elena saw Rude smirk slightly.

"I don't think that applies in this job." said Tseng.

"You mean, if I was to weigh 300 pounds, I'd get paid to do nothing?" Reno laughed. "Rude, why are you even at work? You'd be sorted…" He ignored Rude's venomous glare and carried on. "But seriously, that's awesome."

"Don't tell me you're thinking-" Elena began. She didn't even need to finish her sentence for Reno to answer her.

"Of course I am." He stated bluntly.

"That's rich coming from someone who doesn't weigh more than 100 pounds. You'll have a hard time." Rude said suddenly, his smirk finding its way back onto his lips.

"I weigh more than 100 pounds, you bastard." Reno didn't look at Rude, just glared at his innocent coffee.

"102?" Elena giggled, deciding the time was right to stir the situation a little.

"Shut up, or I'll spill the beans to darling Tseng here." Reno grinned suddenly.

"Spill the beans?" Elena narrowed her eyes, dreading what was coming. "About what?"

"About the fact that you-"

"Enough." Tseng suddenly interrupted, looking more irritated than amused. "Both of you be quiet. Reno, I don't much care what you have to say about Elena right now. Elena, I have Reno's weight on file and I can assure you it is more than 102 pounds. Now, are we all listening?"

"Yes, sir." Elena said, being the only one of the three younger Turks to recognize that Tseng has even spoke.

"Okay. Now, can one of you please tell me quickly what happened at Wall Market?" Tseng spoke a little more calmly this time.

"Gladly, sir." Reno sat up straighter and grinned. "Elena here-"

Elena slapped her hand over Reno's mouth before he could share any of her mortifying experiences with anybody else. "We got valuable information from the King, sir. He says AVALANCHE have formed an alliance with a small rebel group in Wutai."

"Hence the talk on Wutai…" The superior Turk said, more to himself than the others. "So of course, someone has to be sent to Wutai."

"Please, please, please send somebody else…" Reno looked up at Tseng pleadingly. "I've had enough of boring interrogation missions."

"I'll look through the data we have, and sum up the benefits of sending _you_." Tseng muttered and glared slightly at Reno. "You're all excused for the rest of the day."

"Woo-hoo." Reno cried, a little sarcastically. Tseng pinched the bridged of his nose in a frustrated manner.

"Please…" he said quietly. "For once use your time off constructively."

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. When reviewing, bear in mind that I'm pretty sick right now, and I mainly wrote this cheer myself up. It might not be up to scratch grammar-wise, or it might just be generally crap. Either way, have a little sympathy, kay? Right, so yeah, please review etc. I love to hear from you guys. :)

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	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: **YAY! I feel like it's been so long since I updated. I just hit the time of year when all the projects I'm doing have to be in, but I've finished everything now apart from art. So I rewarded myself with a night's writing. Yep, this took me all night lol. I would have had it up earlier but I had to give my dog a hair cut... then clean up the mess XD

Anyway, not much happens in this chapter, just setting the scene for the next event. I'm actually really proud of it though. There is one part in it that you won't understand unless you've read 'The 'Reno' Diet'. I really hope you all enjoy it and thanks a lot for all the reviews. Especially my recent new reviewer **RenoLuvver**, who is also writing an awesome fic at the moment! (I think I spelt your name right!)

Enjoy!

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Chapter 14**

Reno had long gone by the time Elena had gathered her belongings from her office and made to leave the Shin-Ra headquarters. She had no idea where the redhead had actually _gone_, since he seemed to be spending most of his time at Elena's apartment. She couldn't actually remember the last time Reno had returned to his own apartment, at least before it was dark, but she had no idea why. Perhaps he had just gotten used to it, as he had temporarily lived there while they were having their bet. Elena knew she didn't like being alone in her apartment anymore either. Waving goodbye to various employees as she went, Elena made a swift exit through the front door and made her way hastily down the street.

It didn't take Elena long to get back to her apartment, and barely even thought twice when she saw her front door was slightly open. Sighing slightly, she pushed it open and shut it behind her, knowing what she would find within.

Reno was slouched on her couch, with two pizza boxes on his lap. The top box was open, and half the pizza inside had evidently already been devoured.

"Hungry?" Elena asked, crossing her arms.

"Umph-" Reno tried to say something through a mouthful of cheese, but failed - badly. He lurched forward as he began to cough uncontrollably, while Elena just stood and watched amusedly. After about a minute, Reno somehow managed to swallow the contents of his mouth, and looked up, grinning idiotically at Elena.

"Hungry?" Elena repeated with a smirk on her face.

"Yuh-huh." Reno nodded and took another unnecessarily huge bite of pizza. Apparently the redhead hadn't learned from the first time.

"You know I heard Tseng was going to cut your pay…" Elena said casually. The result of this seemingly simple statement was another coughing fit, similar to the previous one, except this time Reno didn't manage to swallow his food. Trying to cough with his mouth closed, he ran into Elena's bathroom with his hand over his mouth.

"Clean up in there when you're done." Elena called through over the sounds of gagging.

Smiling to herself, Elena picked up the pizza boxes that were now on the floor and put them on the couch, before going in the kitchen to fetch herself a drink. She was still thinking about what Tseng had said, and wondered if he would end up sending the two of them to Wutai. It was bound to be an entertaining yet irritating experience to say the least.

Reno returned from the bathroom, wiping his watering eyes, just as Elena re-entered the living room. He picked up his pizza boxes, sat down with them on his lap, and then began to laugh.

"What?" Elena sat next to the redhead, eying him cautiously.

"What?" Reno mimicked her.

"What are you _laughing _at?"

"How do you know I'm laughing? Whose to say what is laughin' and what isn't? How do you know? Huh?"

"What are you laughing at?" Elena repeated.

"Who says I'm laughing?" Reno grinned at her, and Elena merely shook her head. "It's a muscle twitch, I'm very sensitive about it."

"Ahh, you mean like your speech impairment?" the blond giggled at the memory of the car journey with the infamous Dorothy.

"Yuh-huh." Reno grinned mischievously. Then he looked at the floor and frowned. "Where the fu-!" he started, but then apparently his eyes caught up with him as he spotted his pizza boxes on the couch. Grinning again, he sat down and resumed his meal.

"Where did that come from anyway?" Elena said, eying the pizza as the redhead polished off another slice.

"Bought it."

"Can I have a slice?" Elena moved closer to the redhead.

"Hmm…" Reno looked at his pizza with a slight smirk on his face. "If you give me… 100 gil."

"What?!" Elena snapped. "The whole thing didn't cost that much."

"Ahh, you have you bare in mind interest. You're not a very wise business women are you 'Laney?" Reno laughed and put his feet up on Elena's coffee table.

"Forget it then." Elena smacked Reno's legs so hard his feet fell forcibly to the floor.

"Besides…" Reno carried on casually. "You should be watching what you're eating, being pregnant and all. That baby-weight creeps on fast."

She tried, she really did try, but Elena just couldn't stop her hand making swift contact with Reno's face. The redhead nursed his face as Elena began to rant.

"You're one to talk, you bastard. That pizza will probably put your cholesterol up twenty-fold. You eat nothing but crap!"

"Ahh…" Reno smirked. "But we've proved I _can _eat well. Besides, I drive _way _too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"Oh well, one of them will catch you out eventually." Elena said seriously before making her way into her bedroom to change into a t-shirt and sweatpants. By the time she got back into the living room, Reno had discarded the first pizza box on the floor and had started on the second one. "Are you actually aiming for that 300 pound thing that we mentioned earlier, Reno?"

"Why not?" Reno grinned and rubbed his stomach. "Might be worth it, after all."

"Hmm…" Elena sat back down next to the redhead, and looked across at him. Before she could say anything else however, she was interrupted by her cell phone ringing beside her.

"I wanna answer! Me!!" Reno grabbed the cell phone off Elena before she could answer the call.

"'Sup-" the redhead said down the phone. "Chinese take-away, please donate a dog today- oh hey, Tseng." Reno giggled and put his hand over the phone. "It's Tseng-y." He whispered loudly.

"Give it." Elena snatched the phone off Reno and held it to her ear. "Hello, sir?"

"Hello, Elena." Tseng voice sounded slightly muffled down the line. "I called your phone so I could avoid talking to Reno… I've got news for you."

"Oh yeah?" Elena smiled. She knew what was coming.

"I've decided to send you both to Wutai-"

"I freakin' heard that!!" Reno shouted shockingly loudly. "You freakin' bast-"

"Oh, right." Elena could almost hear Tseng grimace as he tried to block out Reno's yells. "When?"

"Well, when I looked into it, I figured it would be best for you to set off this afternoon, since it will take a while to get there. Then, you can start searching for the rebels tomorrow morning straight away."

"Okay." Elena nodded. "How will we get there?"

"Get Reno to drive the two of you back up to the Shin-Ra building. You'll have a pilot that will take you there." Tseng explained.

"Okay, thank you sir." Elena disconnected the call and turned straight to Reno. "Don't even start."

"I really, really, _really _can't be fu-"

"How many times do I have you interrupt you mid-swear?' Elena stood up and put her hands on her hips. "Now come on, get ready."

Reno ignored her and carried on eating his pizza, albeit a little less enthusiastically. Elena sighed and made her way to her room to pack a few belongings. It would probably end up only being a one-night mission, but she wanted to be prepared anyway. After her two-minute job had been put up to about an hour thanks to Reno putting random objects in her bag, the two Turks left for Shin-Ra headquarters.

* * *

**A/N: **I did ask a question on one of my other stories, but I know there's a lot more people that read this one, so here goes; do you think I need to make my chapters longer? They are a lot longer than they used to be, but I had one person say they needed to longer. I'd really appreciate your opinions guys. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and please review!


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Heyyy! Another update from me finally. I've been doing this a little bit at a time for weeks now, because due to my new job, I don't have much spare time at all. But I did it! It's not really that long, and there's not a huge amount of humor in it, because it's mainly setting the scene for the next little bit. You'll see what I mean when I get to the end.

Hope ya'll enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 15

It didn't take the two Turks very long to get back up to the Shin-Ra building, what with Reno's driving. The one time Elena had dared tell him to slow down, he had replied with 'I'm being efficient'. Knowing there was no arguing with him, she just closed her eyes and prayed like hell.

"We're he-ere!" Reno said in a very high-pitched, sing-song voice. "Come on 'Laners."

"What the hell did you just call me?" Elena snapped whilst getting out of the car. Reno merely grinned his idiotic grin and ignored her completely. The blond decided not to push the situation since acting this way seemed to be Reno's only way of venting his annoyance at their current mission.

As the two Turks entered the Shin-Ra building, they headed straight for the elevators to get the top of the building to the helipad. They had no idea who would be piloting them, but Elena prayed for the sake of her own safety that it was someone that didn't particularly irritate Reno. She got a rather large surprise when they reached the top though…

"What the _hell _are you doin' here?" Reno said loudly to the man smoking outside the helicopter. The man threw the cigarette down on the floor and stood on it to put it out.

"Hi, Rude." Elena said, a lot more politely than Reno.

"Come on." The bald Turk said. "Tseng told me to take you. I'm not working on anything at the moment."

"Well, I might as well've taken us…" Reno sighed dramatically. "You're not doin' the _mission _with us, are ya?"

"No. Don't worry, I won't ruin your experiences of Wutain culture." Rude smirked.

"Pretty snarky for a guy who everyone thinks is a mute." said Reno.

"Tseng told me to give you this." the bald Turk handed Reno a piece of paper. The latter looked at what he had been given and smirked, before putting it in his pocket. Finally ready to depart, the three Turks jumped into the helicopter.

* * *

The journey to Wutai was definitely more enjoyable than usual for Elena, but then she usually had to experience Reno's piloting. After saying goodbye to Rude and watching him pilot steadily off, Elena turned straight to Reno.

"We really gotta talk…" Reno said quickly before Elena could say anything.

"No, Reno." Elena put her hands on her hips. "You really pick your times."

"I wanna know when you're gonna tell Tseng… and Rude. 'Cause if you don't-"

"What?" Elena stared dumbstruck at Reno before she realized what he was talking about. "Why do you want me to tell them? And Rude already knows…"

"He knows?" Reno's eyes instantly widened. "He knows! That bastard… I bet he knew before me didn't he? Well?"

"Calm it down Reno." Elena tried not to smile. "The whole thing is your fault anyway… you took advantage of a drunk woman, without protection as well!"

"There are three things wrong with that sentence;" Reno held up three fingers and began putting them down as he listed. "One; you may have been drunk, despite the fact you probably only had one drink, but I'm not sure about the 'woman' part. Two; why in the hell is protection _my _responsibility? _I'm _not the one that gets pregnant. And three; condoms aren't always safe. My friend was wearing one and he got hit by a bus."

"You'll get hit by my fist in a minute." Elena snapped as Reno laughed, jumping backwards to avoid Elena's hand. "Come on, let's go."

The two Turks wandered over towards the bar, but Elena wasn't really concentrating on what they were about do. She was more pondering on the strange conversation she had just had. Reno had gone from being livid to teasing in about three seconds flat, and she recognized those mood swings…

"Reno…" Elena grabbed the redhead's arm before he got to the doors of the bar.

"What?" Reno stared at her impatiently, but the blond Turk changed her mind. She would just have to keep an eye on his behaviour from now on.

"Nothing. Go on."

When Reno and Elena entered the bar, all fell silent. The place was unusually crowded, and seemed to be full of people from all walks of life. Reno seemed completely unnerved by the silence and walked straight over to talk to the people behind the bar.

"I'm lookin' for whoever runs this joint." he said quietly. Elena could see the mans eyes widen and he muttered something not English to one of his companions. "Step this way…" he allowed the two Turks through the bar and into the back room.

"You are Turks, no?" the man said in a heavy accent. "We don't have anything for you, sorry." He made to turn around, but Reno clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Oi, you. Listen to me." the redhead turned the man back around again, despite the size difference and leaned towards him menacingly. "I didn't get nearly mauled by 20 homosexual madmen, and almost invited out on a date with a man 3 times my size for no reason." He seemed to grimace at the memory. "Now, you know as well as I do that we'll get this information from you, be it the easy way, or the hard way. Now why don't you make things easier for everyone?"

The man paused and pressed his fingertips together thoughtfully before opening his mouth to speak. "What does the Shin-Ra want?"

Reno didn't reply instantly, but remained silent with a puzzled expression on his face. After a few seconds he leaned backwards and whispered to Elena.

"What _do _we want?" he asked, grinning sheepishly. "I forgot what we're here for…"

Elena sighed and stepped forwards. "We're here because someone has been passing classified Shin-Ra information to AVALANCHE members, and we want to know who it is."

"I am afraid I do not know what you are talking about." The man said simply and calmly.

"Don't be an idiot." Reno said, shaking his head. "The war with Wutai may be over, but we _know _there are rebel groups like you and your friends here that want nothing more than to kill all of us. I bet that's what you're thinking right now."

"Rebel groups, sir?" The man kept his calm aura about him, and it seemed to be aggravating Reno.

"Would you _like_ to be threatened? Is that it?" Reno asked hotly. "Because if it's necessary I won't hesitate to cut you apart bit by bit."

"I don't doubt you would." The man's tone changed rapidly to match Reno's. "As little as I doubt your 'cutting' skills, you will not get any information out of me, for I have nothing to interest you."

"On the contrary… I believe you're a mine of information."

Elena watched this battle of wits as the two men fought it out. For the first time in her life, Elena could not see Reno as a clear winner of this interrogation. Shin-Ra may have been completely foreign to this man, but he quite clearly knew what he was doing.

"Do you own this place?" The redhead asked. Both Elena and the Wutaian man were taken aback by Reno's sudden change of topic.

"Why- why, yes I do."

"Uh-huh." Reno smiled a sickeningly sweet smile before pulling out and holding up the piece of paper Rude had given him earlier. "Well, we got a warrant to search. Move out of our way."

The man stepped backwards and seemed to have a much less defensive stance. "Shin-Ra… you're all the same. You lose information from an interrogation so you use force. How very typical."

"Don't flatter yourself, slick." Reno started rummaging through the man's many filing cabinets. "What you don't realize is it doesn't matter what I did, I still shut you up. So there ya go; I win."

Reno filled the last two words of his sentence with so much immaturity Elena almost laughed. Half at Reno, and half at the expression on the man's face.

"How you people get qualified to do this job is beyond me." The man shook his head, but Elena noticed the thin layer of sweat on his forehead.

"Of course it is." Reno looked through a folder that was in his arms before tossing it aside. "It's also beyond you that I know the only reason ya throwin' insults at me is 'cause you're insecure as to where you stand now. Well let me tell you this…" Reno leaned into the man. "You're free to go. See ya later."

At those words, Reno walked straight out of the room, tapping Elena on the shoulder in an indication to follow him. Elena did so, albeit slightly confused.

"He was clean." Reno said upon reaching outside. "Although he did know something, there was nothing to go on."

"Well why didn't you interrogate more?" Elena asked.

"Because it's a matter of security. I would have had to use force, and there's only two of us." Reno said. "We'll report to Tseng, and he might chose to put in the hands on SOLDIER. I dunno… besides, to be quite honest, I've had enough of interrogation for one lifetime… I'm scared I'll have to pretend to be gay again."

Elena laughed as the two Turks rapidly made their way as far away from the bar as possible. The blonde Turk stayed silent as Reno rang through to Rude's cell phone to get him to come and pick them up, but looked very disappointed when he hung up.

"He's gonna be about an hour." he explained. "We're stuck in this dump."

"It's not so bad." Elena said optimistically. "There's plenty we could do for an hour…"

"Like?"

"Like… umm… we could get a bite to eat." Elena instantly regretted her spontaneous suggestion, but it was after all the only thing she could think of to keep the redhead quiet.

* * *

**A/N: **There ya go! I'm gonna have a funnier chapter next time hopefully with a restaurant scene and stuff. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review :)

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	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Well, I promised myself I would focus more on my writing this summer and so far so good. It's been a while since I updated this story, but if you follow all my stories, you'll know there hasn't been much of a gap between each update. I know what I mean xD. I also got this written very quickly as well. I'm pretty proud of this chapter, I like it. I know a lot of people have been looking forward to this update so I hope I don't disappoint.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 16**

"How long do we have to wait? I'm hungry." Reno protested loudly. "Huuuungry!"

Elena said and buried her head in her hands, leaning on the table. "Reno, for heaven's sake, shut up!" the blond hissed, desperately trying to ignore the glares from around the restaurant that seemed to be aimed at their table. "We ordered about 20 seconds ago."

"I was just askin'." Reno shrugged and began fiddling with the salt and pepper dispensers. "I just asked very loudly. And there's no need to snap at me. It's not my fault your hormones are all topsy-turvey."

It took Elena a moment to catch up with what Reno was saying, but after only a couple of seconds she narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table, making her best effort to act. "As a matter of fact, Reno, it _is _your fault. So before you start-"

"Umm... excuse me?" A voice came from behind Elena. She whipped around, but forgot to take the livid expression off her face. The now slightly scared looking waitress was rather old and unattractive, Elena couldn't help but notice. "Your order..."

Elena smiled gratefully and took her own meal off of the nervous looking woman. The 'restaurant' they were in was a bit... suspicious, so Elena had taken the safe option and just ordered a ham salad sandwich and some water, but God only knew what Reno had ordered in the end.

"Sorry, sir. Your meal will take a little longer." The waitress said to Reno, trying not to look into his eyes.

"Super-dooper." Reno said stupidly, grinning at the woman. Elena shook her head and wished as hard as she could that she was somewhere else, with someone else. Of course, it didn't work, so Elena had to occupy herself with her sandwich.

"So, 'Laners..." Reno said. Elena cringed at her new nickname as she slowly chewed her sandwich. "That looks like a mighty tasty sandwich. Is it mighty tasty?"

"Would have never expected to hear you say anything like that about something green." Elena said, eyeing the lettuce in her sandwich suspiciously.

"There are plenty green things I like..." Reno grinned but didn't continue the sentence. Elena was sure it was for the best.

"This is supposed to be a ham salad sandwich..." Elena muttered. "But I'm sure as hell that's not ham. This things never even seen a pig."

"Well, there's no shepherd's in shepherd's pie, is there 'Laney? Ya can't have everything. At least ya got ya scrumptious veggies, eh?"

"Yeah..." Elena said unsurely. "Ew, there's a fly in my water." The blond said, glancing at the glass.

"Ah don't worry, they don't drink much." Reno grinned, before looking up and looking surprised. "Oooh, it's my food." Reno let the waitress put the meal down on his table in front of him. "Here ya go." the redhead pulled out a tiny amount of cash from his pocket and handed it to the old waitress. The latter took it, but still stood there, coughing lightly. "Sorry sweetheart, I only tip women if I wanna get in their pants... and no offence, but I don't think we'd ever work."

The woman looked very taken aback, before adopting a look of disgust and flouncing off to attend to another customer. Elena avoided the urge to smirk, and instead frowned at Reno. The redhead however, seemed far too preoccupied with his meal to notice.

"What the hell have you even got there?" Elena said, looking at the redhead's food.

"Two cheeseburgers, large fries; extra salt, and..." Reno held up a bottle. "a beer."

"Nothing like making sure you get enough calories each day..." Elena muttered, staring at her sandwich, which by comparison was pathetic. "And you shouldn't be drinking when you're technically still working."

"Yeah?" Reno took a long, deliberate swig of his beverage. "And you're not s'pose to be pregnant while you're at work. It goes both ways, don't it 'Laners?"

"You know what, Reno? You remind me of the sea." Elena said thoughtfully.

"Why? 'Cause I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?" Reno smirked.

"No. Because you make me sick."

Reno smirked again and ignored Elena's last comment, continuing his meal. Elena finished off her sandwich and watched as Reno wolfed down his food, which took a surprisingly short amount of time. He was just draining his last mouthful of beer when his cell phone started to ring.

"Yeah?" Reno greeted whoever the caller was. There was a short pause during which Reno's face went sheet white. "Umm... well; I'm kinda busy right now..."

Elena stared at the redhead wondering vaguely the reason why the redhead looked like he was about to bring his meal back up. Then it clicked.

"Look..." he carried on nervously. "I'll give you a call when I get a day off. Promise."

Reno hung up his cell phone and put it on the table whilst staring blankly at Elena.

"Did you just blow off your boyfriend?" Elena said loudly, causing the people on the table next to them to stare. "That wasn't nice at all, was it?"

"Reno's been getting around a bit, hasn't he?" a husky voice said from behind Elena. The blonde jumped and turned around to see Rude, who had just entered the restaurant.

Reno looked terrified at the entrance of the bald Turk for a moment, before gaining his composure. Elena was sure the redhead momentarily mistook Rude for a certain bald man from the gym that Reno had just been speaking to.

"Seriously." Reno said breathlessly. "I'm gonna have a heart attack. I can feel it comin'."

"Probably more to do with your meal." Elena said, eyeing Reno's empty plate. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

Within about two hours, Reno and Elena had managed to return to the Shin-Ra building, and give a full report to Tseng. Well, Elena had given a full report to Tseng; Reno had been to preoccupied with the filing cabinet that stood in the corner of Tseng's office.

"Okay..." Tseng said slowly when Elena had finished reporting. "You'll have to fill out the usual paperwork, but I think this might be a matter for SOLDIER for now. We'll see anyway. I'll speak to Heideggar."

Reno's head shot around at the mention of Heideggar's name, and he looked horrified for a moment. "What about Heideggar?"

"If you were listening instead of trying to find your file, you'd know." Tseng said bluntly. He didn't seem to bothered by Reno's ignorance. Elena thought he was probably used to it by now. "Anyway..." their superior pulled some papers out of his desk drawer and handed them over to Elena. "Just fill these out. The usual, you know. Work in Reno's office to make sure he does it properly. When you're done you can go home for the day. Report to me tomorrow."

"Yes, sir." Elena got up and dragged Reno out of Tseng's office, slightly dubious about what she had just agreed to do.

* * *

"Answer me this, 'Laney." Reno said, taking the papers off his co-worker and looking down at her in an irritated fashion. "I know I bitch about paperwork all the time; but please tell me the point in this?"

"The answer is the same as every other time you've asked me." Elena said brusquely, starting on her own work.

"But we just _told _Tseng what happened." Reno complained. "And nothing actually happened on that mission anyway. The only thing more pointless than this paperwork is the mission that it's about."

"It's the company's policy. You do it because you get paid to do it." Elena sighed. She had lost count of how many times she'd been through this with the redhead.

"Oh..." Reno sat at his desk and grabbed a pen to start his own work. "There's me thinkin' you did it 'cause you enjoyed it."

Elena looked up at Reno, ready to come up with a retort, but avoiding doing so once she caught the look on his face. It was a strange expression, half concentration and half thoughtfulness – two expressions that never fought their way onto the man's features. The result was actually quite adorable in Elena's opinion, and for some reason she felt a pang of guilt for ongoing plan of false pregnancy...

NO! That redheaded devil had done nothing but torture her since she starting working for Shin-Ra. Even the two weeks when he was supposed to be eating healthily, he still annoyed her beyond belief. There was no teaching him, and now apparently the only thing he was scared of was commitment.

It didn't take Elena long to finish up her paperwork, and as she looked up at the redhead, he was still in deep concentration. Elena smiled and enjoyed her last few moments of silence before she piped up.

"Are you nearly done?" she asked.

"What?" Reno looked up, staring from Elena to the piece of paper he was working on. "No, ain't started yet." he smiled.

"What on earth are you doing then?" Elena grabbed the piece of paper he had been using and looked at it.

"Doodling." Reno giggled. Elena stared at the paper; the doodle was of the four Turks. Clearly, the most work had gone into the drawing of Reno. "I gave Tseng a bit of a perm... and well, I made you a bit more accurate. That means it's still accurate, ya know, in a few months time..."

Elena's eye twitched. She was quite sure she was not that big compared to the other three Turks, especially not Rude. She had to admit though, the expression on the doodle's face was probably very similar to the expression she had at that moment.

"I'll keep this." Elena snapped. "Now get on with your paperwork. I'm done so I'm leaving. I'll see you later."

"You never gave me an opinion on my artistic skills..." Reno said, smiling slightly. Elena ignored him, grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the office, leaving Reno still with a little smirk on his face.

* * *

**A/N: **There ya have it. Sorry for any little mistakes, I did check it through but I might have missed some. I'm typing on a new keyboard ya see, which is really hard to type on compared to my laptop. Please drop a review and lemme know if ya liked the chapter!


	18. Chapter 17

_**A/N: **Hey everyone. I'm still keeping up with my updates as you can see if you read all my stories! This chapter is still humor-ish, but there is a little bit of seriousness in it... not in a bad way though! I hope you all enjoy it, and drop me a review to let me know if you liked it!_

_I've been searching through my playlists for songs that suit Reno and Elena... I need music to write you see. Well, I've found a few more to add to my collection (which was two songs before) I Hate How Much I Love You by Rihanna is a good one, although I prefer the cover by Boyce Avenue if you've heard that. :)_

_Anyway, enjoy the chapter!_

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Chapter 17**

It had been a while since Elena had lost her temper with Reno; properly anyway. She did feel a little guilty for losing her temper and leaving work in such a hurry, but he _was _starting to get too much. Elena had been convinced she'd made Reno believe she was pregnant, but now she wasn't so sure. He seemed to making an awful lot of joking about it still. But then again, Elena had never known him get worried about anything; maybe that was just his way of dealing with things.

She was quite surprised though; it was getting late, and she had expected Reno to have called her by now. But no, Elena had just been sitting watching T.V alone for hours now.

However, just as she was thinking about the redhead, there was a clatter from outside her apartment, before a swift rapping on her door. Whoever was knocking didn't wait for an answer, as the door creaked open before Elena could even get to her feet. That told the blond one thing; Reno.

"'Laney?" Elena heard the redhead say, as his footsteps got closer. She stood up and turned around to see Reno already standing in the doorway. "You okay?"

"Yeah..." Elena nodded her head. Reno had brought in the suspicious stench of alcohol with him, but the blond didn't think he was actually drunk. "What do you want? It's getting late..."

"I was just over at the bar..." Reno looked at his watch. "And it's only 9:30, it's not late. I was wonderin' if ya wanted to come over back to the bar with me?"

"Really?" Elena was slightly taken aback, but then remembered something. "But I can't drink you know..."

"Yeah?" Reno grinned suddenly. "That's funny comin' from the girl who spends half her life tellin' me 'ya don't have to drink to have a good time.' I only wanted a bit of sober company for once."

"Okay... you got me." Elena laughed. "Fine. But not for too long, we've got work tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah." Reno waved her off and made to leave, with Elena in his tracks.

Elena got more than a slight shock when she got outside, however.

"You _drove _here?" she said exasperatedly. "But you've been drinking!"

"Yeah... only 4 or 5 beers... maybe 6. I dunno." Reno shrugged as he pulled his car keys out of his pocket.

"That still puts you over the limit." she hissed. She wasn't keen on letting the redhead drive her, considering the strange angle he'd parked his car at. "You're not planning on driving back, surely?"

"Well I'm hardly in any state to walk now, am I?" Reno smirked, but Elena grabbed his keys from him.

"Come on." She smiled. "We'll go in my car. I'll drive us."

"Your car?" Reno groaned in an exaggerated way. "But your car's gay. Everyone will think I'm gay."

"I know you're very protective over your sexuality at the moment Reno..." Elena smiled as she pulled her own keys out of her pocket. "But just hide your face and no one will know. There's nothing gay about my car anyway..."

"It's pink." Reno said bluntly, eyeing the car on her drive. It glinted in the dull light from the street lamp.

"Yeah." Elena unlocked the door. "It's pastel pink though. Nobody will notice."

"Pfft..." Reno muttered someone under his breath as he got in the passenger seat of Elena's car, but the blond just smirked, ignoring him.

The first thing the redhead did on sitting down, and Elena was sure he did it on purpose, was put his feet on the car's dashboard. The blond cringed at Reno's dirty boots, and smacked his leg down.

"Ooh, 'Laney, wait till later. I ain't drunk enough yet." Reno grinned, not moving his feet.

"Put your feet down." Elena ignored his vulgar comment.

"Ya want fries with that?" Reno grinned but did as he was told for once anyway.

Elena started the engine as she prepared herself for what was to come; she knew Reno was a terrible driver, but she had no idea how he was as a passenger. She got her answer soon enough though.

"Right, 'Laners." he said in a strangely professional tone. "Might I remind you of the road conditions before you set off driving like a maniac. Don't think I don't know your terrible driving secrets..."

"Reno-" Elena tried to interrupt the redhead in the middle of his rant full of nonsense, but he was having none of it.

"Right... it's dark so make sure ya got your lights on. We need to make sure that when you're tryin' to mow down pedestrians they got a fair chance of seein' ya."

"Reno!" Elena almost yelled, and Reno just stared at her, his mouth slightly open. He quickly began to grin again however, so Elena knew it was time to just ignore him. She put the car in gear and began to reverse.

"Whoa!" Reno shrieked and pushed himself forward in his seat. Elena was sure her heart just collided with her windpipe, but she ignored him and continued driving. "Careful 'Laney, ya gonna kill us all!"

Elena smirked, but still didn't say a word. The rest of the journey went fairly smoothly, except Reno's constant whining of 'are we there yet?' despite the fact that it was only a five minute journey, and him yelling out of the window at random civilians. They arrived back at the bar with Elena's nerves more or less in tact.

It was pretty obvious that Reno's first action in the bar would be to buy himself a beer, and Elena bought herself a coke. She wasn't that bothered that she couldn't get anything alcoholic, because she didn't drink that much anyway. She dreaded to think what Reno would be like if it was him that couldn't drink.

Elena had a fairly good time, considering she wasn't much of a bar person. She was starting to get a little annoyed at Reno trying to make a move on random women he saw in the bar, and once, a man he thought was a woman. He didn't seem quite so embarrassed that time as he was in his last homosexual encounter, probably because of the large amounts of alcohol he had inhaled. The use of cheesy pick-up lines wasn't only beginning to annoy Elena however, as at one point, the barmaid had a quiet word with Elena.

"Look..." she said kindly. "I got nothing against you two, but can you take him home for tonight? I think he's had enough, and he's starting to scare off other people."

"Of course... well I'll try, anyway." Elena smiled grimly and watched as Reno got slapped in the face for about the tenth time. The blond felt a slight pang of anger as the girl who had done the slapping, whom was rather scantily clad in Elena's opinion, stalked off in the direction of another man, who glared over at Reno. It didn't take long for that man to march right over to Reno. It worried Elena that the man was about twice the size of Reno.

"I don't appreciate you hittin' on my girl." he said loudly, jabbing a finger at Reno. The redhead seemed a bit confused, and didn't say a word. Before the conversation could go any further however, Elena stepped in.

"Hey!" she shouted, standing in front of Reno.

"Oh, you got your _own _girlfriend as well? You just fancied a bit on the side." the man laughed, only worsening Elena's temper.

"He's a _friend_." She hissed. "And he's just had a bit too much to drink. And if your _girl _wasn't dressed like such a whore, maybe you wouldn't have this problem. C'mon, Reno."

Elena didn't even wait for a reaction from the people in the bar, just grabbed Reno's arm and practically dragged him out into the cool night air. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Haha 'Laney!" Reno began to laugh. "That was great!"

"Phew..." Elena began to laugh as well, albeit nervously. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"Aww, you were just being protective over your life-long crush. It's understandable." the lanky man moved closer to Elena,only to be pushed away.

"Shut it, Reno. The amount of women you've been trying it on with you'd better not even _start _with me." She smiled as the two of them got in her car. "You're drunk anyway. Let's get you home."

The journey home was a lot quieter than their last journey, but Elena was too busy driving to work out why Reno was so silent. She kept driving until she was just about to turn into her drive, when she remembered she'd forgotten to drop Reno at home. As she looked over at the redhead though she figured it wouldn't really matter. He was fast asleep, the side of his face resting on the seatbelt. Smiling to herself, Elena pulled into her drive and switched off the engine. It was very dark outside by then, but the street light right above Elena's drive shone down, just catching Reno's face. He may have been drunk, but Elena felt a strange bond towards him, and didn't want that night to end. She put a hand on the side of his face, wondering vaguely how she was going to get the heavily drunk and sleeping redhead out of her car and into her apartment.

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_**A/N: **There ya go! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I added a nice little sweet bit at the end there :) If you have any other songs that you think suit Reno and Elena, could you let me know? I always want to add to my collection. :)_


	19. Chapter 18

_**A/N: **Okay, I'll have to keep this short, because I'm REALLY late for work lol. I just wanted to get this done tonight because otherwise I wouldn't be able to put it up until like, Sunday. Long story. Anyway, this chapter is again, not very long compared to some past ones, but I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. _

_Thanks to everyone whose read and reviewed so far, they're very much appreciated! I realized the other day that this story has hit over 100 reviews. Keep up the good work and keep reviewing guys! :)_

_Enjoy!_

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Chapter 18**

"Reno!" Elena hissed. "Wake up now!"

Elena had been trying to wake up the sleeping redhead in her living room for some time now, and despite the fact that it was 11 AM, she was having no luck. She knew that he would be in a steaming mood when he woke up, mainly because of the hangover he was sure to have, but she couldn't leave a dozing man on her couch all day. Luckily for her, she wasn't due in at work today. She had received a phone call from Tseng saying that nothing had come up.

Finally losing her patience, Elena stalked into the kitchen and poured out a glass of icy cold water. Smirking slightly, she rushed back into the living room and wasted no time in dumping the whole contents of the glass onto Reno's face. Instantaneously, Reno shot up into a sitting position with a scream, coughing and spluttering several curse words in Elena's direction.

"Good morning, Reno." Elena said innocently. "How're you feeling?"

"Shut up." Reno said waspishly, running his hand down his face. "Ya didn't have to wake me up so obnoxiously, so early."

"It's 11 in the morning." Elena stated bluntly. Reno stared roughly in her direction, although his glare seemed to be aimed more at his sodden hair, as strands of it fell onto his face.

"Is it?" he looked dumbfounded. "What about work?"

"We don't have to go in today. Tseng called me." the blond Turk lifted Reno's legs up and sat down on the end of the couch.

"He didn't call me." Reno pouted exaggeratedly. "I feel left out."

"He did call you…" Elena tossed Reno's cell phone at him. "Five times."

"Ahh…" the redhead grinned sheepishly. "That would explain that then. And it's not _nice _to throw things-" he threw his cell phone back at Elena, and narrowly missed hitting her in the face. It landed with a painful crack in the corner of the room.

"Don't throw that cell phone!" Elena smacked her companion on the leg. The latter just grinned however.

"Ooh, 'Laney." He laughed deviously. "Not so early in the morning. Wait 'til later."

Elena gritted her teeth and desperately avoided the temptation to smack the redhead again, as she knew it would only make the situation worse. "How do you manage to be so obscene, even when you've probably got an awful hangover?"

"Who says I got a hangover?" Reno asked, stretching his long arms and legs out, placing his legs heavily across Elena's lap.

"Well you drank enough." Elena tried unsuccessfully to move Reno over. "Will you move?!" she snapped.

"Nope." Reno grinned, albeit half-heartedly. Elena could tell he must have at least a slight headache, it just seemed he was good at hiding these things. Either that or he was just used to it. "I'm comfy."

"You're not listening to me. You drank far too much yesterday. And _I'm _not comfy…" Elena retorted. "So move."

"I am listening to you. Can't you see me yawning?" Reno quickly jumped to his feet and just when Elena got her hopes up that he was going to stop being annoying, he dropped himself on her knee.

"Ouch!" Elena shrieked, trying to wriggle herself free. "Reno, get off!"

"Aww, poor little 'Laney. Am I too heavy for ya?" Reno grinned and leaned into the poor blond, hugging her enthusiastically.

"No." Elena forced herself forward and finally succeeded in tipping the redhead onto the floor. "But you're bony."

"Am not." Reno stuck his tongue out and struggled to his feet. "So… we got the whole day here together do we?" he changed to subject quickly as he sat down properly next to Elena.

"Who said anything about 'we'?" The blond replied. "You don't live here."

"Then what am I doin' here then?" Reno grinned and slouched lower in the couch. "'Cause I distinctly remember a very familiar ditzy blond saying to me last night 'let's get you home.' Yet here I am…"

"I… umm…." Elena glared at Reno, although she was slightly shocked how well he seemed to remember the night before. If he wasn't very drunk then, Elena dreaded to think how much he must have drunk that night when he thought he'd gotten her pregnant. It was quite worrying actually. Sighing, Elena decided it would be easier to just surrender. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Some breakfast would be nice…" Reno grinned and Elena got to her feet, feeling defeated.

* * *

After a breakfast of pizza, much to Elena's disdain, Reno seemed bent on going back to sleep. Elena was having none of it though; if Reno was going to stay at her house all day, he could at least make the day slightly more entertaining. He insisted on laying down, so every few minutes Elena flicked bits of ice from her drink she had gotten herself at the redhead. His short screech, followed by a grunted swear word was quite hilarious actually, but it began to get annoying after about the seventh time, and he fell back asleep yet again. Sighing, Elena turned on the T.V and searched for something worth watching.

It didn't take long for Elena to realize her hope of watch-able T.V was only to be obliterated. With the redhead next to her snoring loudly, it made it impossible to hear anyway. Smirking slightly at the evil plan she had just formulated in her head, she slowly and carefully stood up and knelt so her face was right next to Reno's ear and screamed as loudly as she could.

"Fuck!" Reno screamed and his head shot up, his eyes wide in terror. "What the fuck was _that _for?"

"And there's me thinking you were in a good mood today." Elena smiled. "Get up."

"Ooh, you're watching a show about animals, are you?" Reno peered at the abandoned T.V. "Did your subscription to the porn channels run out? Had to settle with animals did ya?"

"It's about animal testing, doofus." Elena said, grabbing hold of one of Reno's hands and forcing him to sit up.

"Aah…" Reno actually obliged and sat up properly in his seat, rubbing his eyes. "I think animal testing is wrong…"

"You do?" Elena listened interestedly. It was unusual for Reno to show concern for any other living thing, be it person, animal or plant.

"Yeah. They get all nervous and give all the wrong answers. It's just not fair, is it?" Reno smirked as Elena attempted to ignore him.

"Hey, Reno…" Elena decided to press the issue that had been plaguing her all morning. "You know that night when we, you know… how much did you have to drink?"

Reno didn't reply, but his expression didn't turn as morbid as Elena expected it to. He stared at her, one corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "A bit. I wanted to talk to you about that anyway…"

"Oh yeah?" Elena asked. His expression seemed strangely serious.

"Yeah… it's important." He looked at his knees. "I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

* * *

_**A/N: **DUN DUN DUN!!! You'll have to wait until next chapter to find out what Reno's gonna say. Iwas gonna put it in, but it seems too much of an epic cliffhanger, even for me. Hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to review!_


	20. Chapter 19

_**A/N: **Finally the update everyone seems to have been waiting for! Sorry about the wait, but my internet is completely broken. I'm on my friend's laptop at the moment, so I'm lucky to be updating really :) I worked quite hard on this update, so it took me a while anyway._

_By the way, just a warning, this bit at the start might... I dunno. I just have had readers in the past that are sensitive about really random things. But yeah, just warning :) I got so many reviews for the last chapter of this, so thank you so much everyone! I love you all so much :)_

_Enjoy_

**

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Chapter 19**

Reno hesitated a lot before he continued talking, and Elena's heart was beating faster and faster by the second. He stuttered a few times and sighed.

"I've been tryin' to tell ya this for days now… I just… could never see the right time…" he was looking at the floor, a look of extreme sadness plastered on his features.

"Just spit it out already." Elena snapped, losing her patience. She wasn't angry at Reno as such, he just wanted to know what he needed to say so seriously.

"Calm it down, 'Lena." Reno shot a look of anguish in Elena's direction, and the blond was sure she could see tears in his eyes. "You don't know how hard this is…"

"Okay…" Elena breathed deeply. "I'm sorry. Just… go on."

"The baby… it can't be mine." Reno said, burying his face in his hands. "I went to see the doctor…"

"And…?" Elena had a feeling she knew what was coming, and put a hand on Reno's shoulder.

"It's not possible for me to have children, 'Laney, if ya know what I mean." the redhead looked over at her again, torment in his eyes. Elena wasn't sure what to say; could he be telling the truth? "So… whose baby is it, then?"

Elena heaved a sigh and rubbed her hand in a small circle on Reno's back. That was it then; the end of her joke. It was just unfair to keep it going any longer.

"No, Reno…" she said quietly. "It's not your baby. I'm not pregnant."

The silence that followed was so heavy Elena was afraid to break it. Would Reno be hurt that she had lied to him? It had been for a perfectly good reason; to teach the little bastard a lesson. But it seemed more damage had been done than good.

"I knew it." Reno said eventually, in an extremely quiet voice. Then he suddenly jumped to his feet and began laughing. "I freakin' _knew _it!"

"What?" Elena also got to her feet and grabbed the redhead's arms in an attempt to calm him down. He broke free from her grasp however, and took a step back. Suddenly, realization shot through Elena's mind. "You bastard!" she darted forwards and tried to grab Reno again, but he laughed, and ran into the kitchen. "You lied?! You lied to me!"

Elena ran straight through into the kitchen and locked the back door so Reno could not escape. The redhead just grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, I lied to ya…" he said contently. "What of it?"

"Do you know how serious that is?" Elena closed in on Reno, who seemed to have given up on running away. "That's a _horrible _thing to lie about."

"Oh yeah?" Reno smirked. "Is it any worse than what you did to me? Besides, what concern is it of yours if I can't have kids?" he grinned so perversely that Elena couldn't help but smack him. Before her hand made contact with his cheek however, Reno grabbed her wrist. "Two questions, 'Laney. Answer 'em."

"Fine." Elena pulled her hand from Reno's grip and scowled at him. "You're right. It's no worse than what I did. But at least what I did was for a reason."

"Oh yeah?" Reno mimicked Elena in an angry expression. "Pretendin' to fulfil some life-long dreams? 'Cause I don't mind foreplay, 'Laney, but this-"

"I'd watch it if I were you." Elena knew there was no point in trying to hit him again, because his reflexes would only get the better of her. "You started this anyway."

"Did not." Reno said defensively. He seemed to be taking the situation less than seriously now though, as he stuck his tongue out at Elena.

"Yes you did. How about; 'I'd get checked out if I were you 'Lena, I've heard morning sickness can start the morning after.' Does that sound familiar?" Reno laughed nervously. "Exactly. You made me think I was pregnant."

"Yeah, but that was only a joke." Reno said, trying to defend his case. "It was quite simple for you to find out whether you were pregnant or not."

"I was _trying _to teach you some responsibility." Elena snapped. "Because it's pretty apparent somebody needs to. You're immature and irresponsible."

"Am not." Reno stuck his tongue out and laughed childishly. Elena rolled her eyes at Reno's behavior, which of course had proven her point perfectly.

"You've made it very clear that you have no sense of moral decency, Reno." the blond Turk said bluntly. "Especially when you're drunk…"

The events of the last two times Reno had been drunk flashed through Elena's mind. The first, when he had been too drunk to remember whether or not he had slept with Elena; and the second, when he had tried to hit on so many women that Elena herself had to step in to stop the redhead from being beaten to a pulp. Two separate occasions where Elena had been forced to take action and stop Reno in his tracks. In Elena's opinion, it was two times too many.

"It's not like I get drunk _that _often." Reno grinned guiltily. "It's just a bit of fun."

"It is _not _fun. And you getting drunk once in your lifetime is too often, if I have to put up with your behavior."

"Sheesh…" Reno ran his hand through his hair and sighed disbelievingly. "You're startin' to sound like my mother or something', 'Laney. Ya need to lighten up a little bit."

"No I don't!" Elena hissed. He was so infuriating. "_You _need to take life more seriously."

"Why take life seriously?" Reno slouched a little further down his seat and put his hands behind his head. "No matter what decisions ya make, you wind up dead in the end anyway. Ya might as well live a little."

"There's no point in even _talking _to you, is there?" Elena raised her arms exasperatedly and let them drop to her lap. "Just forget it." She grabbed the T.V controls and switched the T.V on. Reno quickly reached over and grabbed them from her though and turned it back off again.

"Nah, c'mon Laney. I'm interested now. Is there something that ya hate so much about me that ya have to tell me you're pregnant?"

Elena didn't say anything. She didn't even look at Reno - mainly because she couldn't answer. What did she hate about Reno? A lot of things, to look at it truthfully. But if she was honest with herself, for some reason she no longer had any desire to change him.

"No." she said eventually. "I'm sorry."

"But you _do _think I'm irresponsible." Reno stated. Suddenly, a smirk formed on his face. "So how 'bout this - you think I'm irresponsible, like I said, and I think ya need to pull that stick from your ass."

"Reno-"

"Just wait. You remember how much I suffered on our little bet? And I won, yet technically, I didn't get my prize." Reno's grin widened.

"That's only because you lied to me." Elena didn't like where Reno's suggestion was heading.

"Yeah, yeah. So what I'm proposin' is that I'll be more sensible if you lighten up-"

"Reno, no." Elena interrupted him yet again to try and stop him in his tracks. This definitely wasn't a good idea.

"And-" Reno's emphasis on this next word put even more terror in Elena's mind. "If ya do this, I'll let ya off that date. Unless of course ya want it."

Elena stayed silent, knowing that Reno had caught her in a trap. If she agreed to take Reno's challenge all hell was bound to break loose, but she refused, he would say she wanted a date with him.

"Fine." the blond said finally. After all, she only had to lighten up a little… and Reno would have to make a sacrifice too. "What exactly am I supposed to be doing then?"

"Ya know… live life on the wild side. We'll go out and I'll be the designated driver - shit like that."

"Right…" Elena laughed. She'd believe that when she saw it. "You can't even be counted as the designated driver when you're sober."

"Yeah, well-" Reno began. His no doubt witty comeback was interrupted however by his cell phone ringing. He picked it up and answered it quickly without checking who it was.

"Hi, I can't talk to ya right now-" he said quickly. "But leave your name and your bra size and I'll get right back to ya…" there was a long pause before Reno snorted loudly. "That applies to you as well, sir… no, sir, I do like my guts in the arrangement they're in."

Elena smiled to herself, coming to the same conclusion as she had done many times before; that Reno should really check who he's talking to before he comes out with stupid remarks.

"Yeah, okay." Reno hung up and turned to Elena, sighing unnecessarily loudly. "We gotta go in."

"Why?" Elena said, wondering if there had been any news about their mission.

"Nothin' important. The AVALANCHE info leak's been given to my good friend Heideggar, too many of the enemy involved now apparently. We're s'posed to be in charge of more hushed things I think…" Reno paused for a moment as though trying to remember what his actual point was. "But yeah, Rufus wants to talk to us. He's got some news apparently… _he's _probably pregnant now." he muttered the last part in a sarcastic voice, and wandered off towards Elena bathroom to clean himself up. Elena got the same sort of idea and went to her bedroom to get changed.

* * *

Elena had no idea what the news from Rufus Shin-Ra was, but waiting outside his office was nerve-wracking nonetheless. Reno didn't seem bothered though, as he slid down the wall and sat on the floor, his long legs stretched out purposely so that anyone that walked past would have to step over them.

"How long does it take?" he sighed, letting his head fall backwards, hitting it gently on the wall behind him. "Why tell us to come in now if he can't even see us yet? What the hell is he doing in there?"

"I don't know, Reno. Why don't you knock again?" Elena regretted these words almost as soon as she'd said them. When they had first arrived at the building, Reno had just knocked and got no answer. So after waiting for nearly 10 minutes, it went without saying that he wouldn't be mature about it.

"I ain't knockin'" He said loudly. "Who knows what he's doin' in there. We all know what he get's up to with those hookers-"

"Rufus will be with you in a minute." came a curt voice. Elena jumped; she hadn't noticed Tseng standing there, and he didn't look impressed. "He's finishing the paperwork to transfer information over to SOLDIER."

"_Sure_ he is." Reno said sarcastically. He stretched his arms out and yawned widely.

"And I'd thank you if you stood up and at least acted like you were a respectable worker."

"Actin's never been one of my strong points, sir." Reno grinned, but stood up anyway, just in time for Rufus to come out and be nonethewiser of Reno's immaturity.

"I thought you were gonna grow up a bit…" Elena whispered as the she, the redhead and Tseng stepped into Rufus's office.

"Thank you for waiting." Rufus said quickly. From the patience in his voice, he obviously hadn't heard Reno's outburst outside. "I've just passed your missions over to SOLDIER. Tseng, take these to Heideggar, please while I talk to Reno and Elena."

"Yes, sir." Tseng shot Reno a look of warning before taking some paperwork from Rufus and making a swift exit.

"Right… now to the point." Rufus looked at the two remaining Turks casually. It put a little bit of reassurance in Elena's mind that he didn't sound too serious. "I'm sure you remember my sister, Dorothy." Elena could almost sense Reno wanting to moan, but he miraculously remained silent. "Well, she's unfortunately fallen ill, and has to spend the next week in hospital."

"What's up with my good friend Dotty?" Reno said in a falsely concerned voice.

"Never you mind." he said sharply. "She has to go for surgery this week, and so Drake will be left unsupervised for the whole week."

"Oh, no." Reno interrupted. Both he and Elena knew where this was heading. "No, no, no. It's not gonna happen."

"Let me finish." Rufus glowered at Reno. "As you don't have much on at the moment, I'm proposing that Drake stays with one of you; preferably Elena, for the week. You will be paid for it, of course."

"Well-"

"No!" Reno repeated, not liking being ignored. "I ain't havin' anythin' to do with 'im."

"That's fine, sir." Elena smiled, continuing to ignore him. An idea had formulated in her mind. "He can stay with me."

"Thank you." Rufus said gratefully. "I would take him myself, but busy times. If any work for the Turks comes up, he will be taken off your hands."

"Of course, sir." Elena's smile grew into more of a smirk as she looked over at Reno's expression.

"Well, you can go home. We'll come and drop him off later this afternoon."

"Yes, sir." Elena turned and grinned at Reno, who just looked lost for words, and left the office silently.

* * *

_**A/N: **Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to drop a review. Also I'd just like to thank xXRUDEXx for the idea about the Drake babysitting. You set off a whole new stream of ideas with that, so congrats :)_


	21. Chapter 20

_**A/N: **Yay, I just managed to get this update done in time for the weekend; the only chance I have to put it up. Not really a lot to say about this one; just enjoy, and please review! I've got a very decent amount of very helpful reviews recently, so keep up the great work you guys, love you all!_**

* * *

**

**Chapter 20**

"You…" Reno stepped in front of Elena as she was just about to unlock her apartment door. "…are a freakin' idiot!"

"Excuse me, Reno…" Elena asked sincerely. She was struggling to wipe the smirk off her face.

"Don't ya have a brain? Do you have any idea what you've gotten us into? When I'm with that kid, the only person I'd like to kill more than him is myself. Now, please… ring Rufus and tell him you can't do it."

"_Excuse_ me, Reno." Elena repeated, not taking any notice of the redhead's rant. She pushed him gently out of the way so she could unlock the door.

"But 'Laney…" Reno whined, grabbing hold of Elena's shoulders. "A little kid; 6-going-on-60; livin' in _your _house. For a week!"

"Yes, well." Elena smiled at him as she opened the door. "It's my house, not yours. And it might help me make the decision about whether or not I want kids of my own."

That shut the redhead up. Elena could almost sense his jaw drop as she walked down the hallway. She knew the redhead wasn't following her, so she called to him as she entered the living room. "I don't know what you're so shocked about; nobody said I meant with you."

"That's it!" Reno's voice brightened an almost scary amount and he hurried down the hallway after Elena. Evidently, he hadn't taken note of what she had just said. "It's _your _house. I'll just go home for a week. In fact, I bet that's what you were tryin' to do, ain't it? Get rid of me?"

"No, Reno." Elena grinned at him and put her bag down on the kitchen counter. "But you can't get home if you don't have your keys, can you?"

"What?" Reno moved her back aside and hoisted himself on the kitchen counter. "Who says I don't have my keys?" Unsurprisingly, he began rummaging around in his pockets.

"Me." Elena laughed, and held up his keys, which had been in her pocket, dangling them from one finger. Reno made to grab them, but she threw them up and caught them in the same hand, putting them casually into her pocket.

"I hate you." he muttered, looking away from her. "And anyway, you think I can't pick my own lock?"

"You wouldn't do that… I know how much you love being here." Elena tried desperately not to laugh. She hadn't had the chance to torture Reno since their first bet. Now it would be too easy to turn this in her favour. "And besides, I've done this for a reason-"

"Oh, yeah?" The redhead seemed all of a sudden less angry, which worried Elena.

'_Has he picked up on something I haven't?' _Elena thought to herself, looking at his suddenly amused expression. "Yeah…" she said unsurely. "It's the perfect opportunity to put our bet in action."

"Our bet?" Reno raised an eyebrow. "So the bet is only lastin' a week? Piece of cake."

"Whatever you say Reno." Elena laughed and walked back into the living room. Putting up with Drake was definitely going to be worth it.

"Oh, and 'Laney…" Reno called from in the kitchen. "Remember… since irresponsibility doesn't come natural to ya, it's gonna just as hard for you as it is for me."

Elena laughed quietly to herself as she turned on the T.V. She was vaguely aware of the redhead making his way towards her as she made to sit down, but he caught her before she could. With a smirk on his face, he pushed her gently against the wall.

"Reno, what-" Elena began nervously, but Reno put a finger to her lips, smirking all the while. She could feel her heart beating so hard she was sure it was pounding against her ribs. He put one hand on the wall, and rested the other on Elena's waist. She could feel his hot breath on her cheek as she turned slightly to the side, not sure how to react. Her brain told her to slap him, but her heart told her to hold on, and look directly into those eyes. Those beautiful, blue-green eyes, that were staring at her, sparkling with mischief. Oh hell, she couldn't help but look. She could see every one of his dark eyelashes that framed those deep orbs. He got even closer, so she could even count the freckles on his nose. That was the last thing she saw when her eyes closed, as she felt his soft lips brush hers. She didn't dare kiss him back, because he had to maintain her dignity, but she let him do what he wanted. Her pushed into her, making her whole body feel like it was on fire. Slowly, his hand moved lower, until he pulled away, grinning.

"Well, 'Laney." the redhead snickered, holding up his set of keys in same way Elena had done earlier. "How very irresponsible of you. You're getting good already."

Quite suddenly, it wasn't Elena's whole body that felt like it was on fire, just her cheeks. She swatted Reno out of the way, and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, and looked in the mirror. Indeed, her cheeks were red, as were her lips, and her eyes were bright. It was odd how much she enjoyed kissing someone she could quite happily kill. _'Kill him?' _she thought. _'No, that's not quite severe enough.' _It was so frustrating, because she hadn't quite set out the guidelines for what was irresponsible yet, so she couldn't say he'd lost the bet already. Besides, Reno's plea to get her to lighten up rang through her memory… she would be being a hypocrite.

"Right." she yelled, throwing the bathroom door open and storming back into the living room. "We need to set out some rules. And each person's prize."

"No more storming off into the bathroom when I make you look like an idiot." Reno instantly suggested.

"No more drinking." Elena retaliated.

"You're not allowed to use your whiney voice." Reno grinned at her.

"I do _not _have a whiney voice!" Elena snapped.

"There it is." Reno laughed. "And no more criticizing anything I do."

"No more swearing." Elena was determined to find more faults with Reno. "No more slouching in your seat. No more putting your feet on the coffee table. And _stop _purposely making me look like an idiot."

"More swearing, more drinking, more T.V… and generally pull that stick outta your ass." Reno combated against her proposal easily, even though he was mainly reeling off things Elena had already mentioned.

"Right. So basically, be you." Elena concluded. "And you have to be me."

"Right." the redhead agreed amusedly. "Won't that be fun? Ya get to have a life other than work for a week."

"I'm not sacrificing my job performance for the sake of-"

"'_A stupid little bet.'_" Reno said mockingly. "Yes, Laney. Blah, blah, blah… I get it. So what happens when you lose?"

"When _you _lose…" Elena thought for a moment, before an idea stuck her. "You have to ask that _woman _that works on floor 61 out on a date."

"If you're talkin' about who I _think _you're talkin' about, I'm not so sure that's a woman, 'Laney." Reno said, looking scared.

"Oh, she is…" Elena shot him a rare devilish smile. "I've spoken to her. She's a really nice lady, Reno. You'd get along wonderfully."

"Ya mean the hairy one that's twice my size?" Reno's eyes suddenly widened. "What's her name?"

"Vicky." Elena snorted. "Yes, that one."

"That's below the belt." Reno warned. "That really is…"

"You'd better hope for your sake it doesn't get that far… she'd probably crush you." Elena began to laugh hysterically at her own joke. Reno didn't look even slightly amused.

"All right, all right. " the redhead seemed to have come up with suitable consequence for Elena. "When you lose, you have to ask… that guy that keeps calling me."

"The one from the gym?" Elena enquired. "Reno… that man is gay."

"Ah, yes… but I reckon that if I hadn't been there, you would have been his second choice." Reno flashed a grin. "He did seem to like you too."

"You mean I have to pretend to be a man?" Elena concluded bluntly.

"Hey, I'd rather had him than old Vick." Reno laughed at his own cunning idea. "I think it's perfectly fair."

"Reno-" Before Elena could argue against what was in her opinion a grossly unfair wager, there was a sharp tapping at the door. The blond sighed at Reno as he smirked at her and dropped down on her couch, and went to answer the door.

"Good afternoon, Elena." Rufus said politely. He stood fairly stiffly outside the front porch with a fairly miserable-looking, miniature look-alike next to him, holding a small suitcase.

"Hello, sir." Elena smiled as pleasantly as she could manage, before looking down at Drake, and trying to be enthusiastic. "Hey, Drake." The child muttered something inaudible and moved backwards slightly. Elena rolled her eyes and sighed. "So, you want to come in then?"

"No." the blond child said in a small voice.

It was inevitable, in Elena's opinion, that Reno would have to give some input, even though he was in the next room. "Hey, c'mon kid." he called in an amused voice. "I've been lookin' forward to ya comin' all day."

A terrified expression was the only response that came from Drake. Evidentially, Reno trying to get Drake's mother to agree to him having an adopted ferret didn't change the fact that he just seemed to be scared of him.

"You never told me _he'd _be here…" Drake said, looking up at his uncle.

"That's because I didn't know he would be." Rufus said, slightly cynically. "But then I don't know what these Turks get up to."

Elena cursed herself as she blushed slightly at the memory of what had happened earlier. Casting the thought aside, she held her hand out to Drake. "Come on, just ignore him. He won't bother you."

Drake took Elena's hand, albeit grudgingly, and went inside.

"Thank you, Elena." Rufus said gratefully.

"Bye, sir." Elena shut the door and turned to Drake. "You can just put your suitcase in the spare room, just there." She pointed to the door just before the entrance to the living room.

"Spare room's mine." Reno called.

"No, Reno." Elena marched into the living room. "If you want to stay here, you're sleeping on the couch."

"Great… I've been replaced by a six-year-old." Reno sighed and purposely slammed his feet as hard as he could on the floor, before slouching in his seat.

"Reno…" Elena said warningly, putting her hands on the back of the couch. Reno looked up at her and grinned.

"We never shook yet." he said.

"I'm seven now, by the way." came Drake's small voice from the doorway.

"Oh, well that just changes everything!" Reno said, jumping to his feet unnaturally quickly, before turning around and saluting goofily. "Seven? Well… my sincerest apologies, sir."

"Reno, don't be mean." Elena put her hands on her hips and glared at the redhead.

"I know, I'm not allowed to, or it's hairy Vick." Reno suddenly laughed and went into the kitchen. "And since we're starting the bet now…" he came back with a bottle in his hand. "Here ya go?"

"Reno, I can't drink in front of a child." Elena took the bottle of him, dumbfounded. "And where did these even come from? I don't keep beer in my fridge."

"I put 'em in there a couple days ago…" Reno said, sitting back down. "And correction; _I'm_ not allowed to drink in front of a child."

"It's okay…" Drake walked fully into the living room and sat down on the couch as far away as he could from Reno. "My uncle says he thinks you're a borderline alcoholic. I understand if you need to drink."

"You know too much." the redhead shot a worrying glare at the child, who looked nervous. "And that's not me, I'm clean. Elena's the naughty one, ain't ya 'Laney?"

It was at that moment, Elena saw how difficult this bet was going to be on her part. She did not have the manipulative skills that Reno did, and a date on which she had to cross-dress was not very appealing to her.

"Drake…" Elena said, another idea suddenly forming in her mind, as she put the bottle of beer Reno had given her on the side. "Do you know how much your uncle is going to pay us for this week?"

"It probably depends on how many bones are broke when we return him…" Reno muttered.

"Shut up." Elena snapped. "Drake?"

"I don't know. I know he said something about it having to be quite a lot so you'd keep quiet about it. Something about it being unethical… I don't know, I didn't really understand what he meant."

"Perfect." Elena grinned, and sat down in between the other two. "Well, Reno… I have a more appealing, and simpler wager for us…"

"That money's as good as mine…" Reno grinned, instantly picking up on Elena's idea.

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_**A/N: **That's it folks! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any ideas for the story, I can always fit things in!_


	22. Chapter 21

_**A/N: **Well... it's been 10 weeks, but I finally actually have my own internet back. Well I got it on Monday actually, but I've been mega busy since then. I should be working now, but I can't really be bothered. This chapter took a while to get finished, mainly because I've had a very horrible couple of weeks for reasons I'd rather not talk about, but I'm quite proud of this. I found it really odd writing it though, because I'm doing an essay on Alcoholism at school XD. Very interesting._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!_

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**Chapter 21**

Elena nudged the bottle in front of her unenthusiastically. She had only managed half a bottle of the beer Reno had handed to her, and she felt extremely nauseous. It wasn't that she was drunk on such a minute amount of alcohol, but she just really didn't like the taste. How Reno could drink so many of these on a regular basis was beyond her. She looked over at Drake, who was sat next to her on the couch, his mind being completely absorbed by the T.V. Reno was in the kitchen, but what he was doing Elena did not know. He'd been in there for quite some time though, making hardly any sound. Eventually, he returned into the living room with a glass of water in his hand.

"Ya okay there, 'Laney?" Reno walked swiftly to where Elena was sat and picked the bottle up, looking how much she'd drank. "Oh, dear… not doing very well are we?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you." Elena said curtly, not even looking at Reno as he sat down between her and Drake, his back purposely straight.

"That's a bit polite, don't you think?" Reno smirked at her. The obvious over pronunciation of words was very irritating.

"Yeah, it freakin' is." Elena muttered darkly, rewarding her a sly smirk. She moved down in her seat, crossed her arms, and tried desperately not to smile.

"I'm hungry." Drake piped up, probably sensing that before long, an argument would kick up between the two adults. "What's for dinner?"

"I don't know…" Elena said. "Reno; you're the responsible one. What's for dinner?"

"Pizza." the redhead answered bluntly, not looking at Elena but watching the T.V. "Just ordered it."

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" the blond glared at Reno. "And if I have to eat pizza, _you're _not allowed to." she finished smugly.

"You ain't makin' me eat healthy… not again." Reno shot her a look of warning. "I've already proved I can do that, so it ain't fair… I mean, it's not fair." he quickly corrected himself at the sight of Elena's smug expression.

Elena had to admit though, the redhead was probably right. It wasn't really fair since Reno had completed the previous bet, and Elena hadn't really had to do anything. It wasn't right that he should have to suffer again. This whole thing was just starting to feel a little bit weighty on Elena's side.

"Well to be honest, Reno, you didn't really prove you could eat healthily." Elena said matter-of-factly. "Trust me, by the end of those two weeks you looked anything but healthy. But… you're right, even though I don't want to have to do the most suffering here…"

"See, told you." Reno grinned at his victory Elena found it very amusing to hear the amount of effort he was putting into pronouncing every single letter of each word he spoke. "But since you are being so reasonable about it, I'll do you a deal; I get to eat junk food… just not as much."

"Yeah, okay then…" Elena nodded, impressed at how reasonable Reno's proposal was.

"So how much pizza do I get to eat then, Mrs. Immaturity?" he asked, grinning idiotically.

"You can have one more slice than whatever Drake has… you _are _a growing boy after all." Elena laughed and pinched Reno's cheek, before wondering into the kitchen to get herself a drink. _'I could really get used to being the immature one.' _she thought to herself, smiling.

"'Lena… you're really slacking in this bet." Reno called as she ran the tap. "You should've finished this beer by now, and two more."

"You can't honestly expect me to drink at the rate that you do." Elena said bluntly, walking back into the living room with a glass of water. "That's not possible for the average human being."

"Sure it is." Reno grinned, picking up the half empty beer bottle and handing it to Elena. "I dunno what you're doing with that water… it'll only make you stay sober for longer."

Who said anything about getting me drunk?" Elena took the bottle of beer grudgingly. She had only just noticed the odd expression on Drake's face as he watched the two Turk's antics, and she dreaded to think what the child was going to tell his Uncle.

"I did." Reno smirked as there was a sharp knock on the door. He made to answer it and called back to Elena. "If I only get child-size portions of food, you get me-sized portions of everything."

"Great…" Elena muttered darkly as she took a long swig of her drink, resisting her gagging reflex.

"Why are you having another bet?" Drake asked, sounding much more confident now that Reno had left the room. "Didn't the last one turn out badly?"

"No, it didn't turn out badly." Elena smiled as she remembered her kiss with Reno; the result of their last bet. "And we're having another one because _someone _is too stubborn to admit that I'm right and he will find it impossible to grow up."

"Oh…" Drake suddenly looked a little daunted by this onset of new information, but the topic was quickly forgotten when Reno re-entered the room, two hot pizza boxes in his hand.

"Here we go 'Laney; pig out." Reno laughed slightly before dropping the two boxes on Elena's lap. The blond was reminded immensely of the time Reno had eaten two pizza's to himself, and she dreaded slightly what was to come. She was so pre-occupied with her side of the bet, she completely ignored the fact that by being so arrogant, Reno was in fact breaking his half of the bargain.

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"C'mon little Drakey…" Reno said in a slightly whiney voice. "Just one more slice."

"No. I'm full." Drake replied smugly. Elena smirked at the little boy; he seemed to have caught onto the fact that the less pizza he ate himself, the less pizza Reno could have, and he seemed to be enjoying that power rather too much. It wasn't that much of a good thing however, because no doubt whatever Reno and Drake didn't eat, Elena would have to.

"Little bastard." Reno hissed under his breath. "Just like your Uncle."

"Ah-hah!" Elena pointed at the redhead victoriously. "You just swore."

"No, I didn't." Reno argued pointlessly.

"You said _bastard._" Elena muttered the last word under her breath causing the redhead to laugh a little.

"Bastard? I didn't say bastard… I was gonna say…. dastardly. Yup, dastardly little bastard, ain't ya Drake?" Reno stood up and ruffled Drake's hair, much to the child's disapproval.

"Hey, Drake… wanna see how evil our good friend Elena is by drinking those beers?" Reno asked mischievously. Elena watched him suspiciously and he reached over and grabbed the remainder of Elena's beer, and his glass of water, and set them in front of him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out-

"Where the _hell _did you get those from?" Elena yelled, disgusted. In Reno's hand were two earthworms, very much alive.

"Hey, I've prepared my little educational tutorial very well, thank you." Reno said, pretending to be insulted. "Don't judge me because I care for a child's future."

Elena rolled her eyes and watched in disdain as Reno put one earthworm in the bottle of beer, and one in the glass of water. The one in the beer quickly shrivelled and died, whilst the one in the water was still alive.

"There ya go; one dead and one alive." Reno said, apparently proud of his work. "What does that tell ya?"

"Um.. I don't know." Drake replied, looking very lost.

"It tells ya that if ya drink, ya won't get worms." the redhead explained. "So drink all ya want, kiddo."

"Reno…" Elena hissed. "Stop setting a bad example, and your breaking your half of the bet. That money-"

"Yeah, yeah yeah…" he said, rolling his eyes and looking up. "I'm usin' your shower." He wandered off into the bathroom without actually waiting for a response, but Elena used this opportunity to make her move.

"You must really be making the change…" she called after him. "That's gotta be at least two showers you've had this month, and there's still one week till the end of it."

Her only response was a loud yet inaudible mutter from the bathroom. Elena smirked to herself and carried on with her pizza. Now that Reno was out of the room, Drake grabbed another slice, made a small noise of amusement and began to eat.

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Elena did not understand the physics of the things Reno managed to achieve everyday. She felt like she was going to die after just one evening of behaving like Reno. Drake and the redhead had eaten some of the pizza, but Reno had made it very clear that the rest of it Elena had to eat. She thought she could have managed it, but the two bottles of beer Reno practically poured down her throat didn't help.

"I'm _so _hungry." Reno whined, holding his stomach dramatically. He dropped down heavily on the couch and leaned his head onto Elena, completely ignoring the obvious lack of space he was allowing Drake. "Soooo hungry. _Please _can I have something to eat?"

"No, Reno." Elena snapped. Her temper was fuelled half by Reno, and half by the fact that she felt like she was about to throw up. "You have a perfectly reasonable amount; that would be how much I would have had… given the choice."

"Ah yeah, but you chose to be a pig, didn't you 'Laney?" Reno drove his fist gently into her stomach, resulting in her fist flying out somewhere in the direction of his face.

"I don't know how you do this everyday." Elena groaned and got up of the couch, more than ready to go to sleep.

"Hah…" Reno looked at her smugly. "Welcome to my world."

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_**A/N: **There ya go; that's it for that chapter. I'm sorry to say I have no idea when the next update will be; I've got a lot on at the moment, but I'll try and get it done ASAP. Thank you for reading, and don't forget to review!_


	23. Chapter 22

_Authors Note: Well, I planned on making this chapter longer than the last one, but it actually much shorter. Weeeell, I've been writing this update for some time, and I figured I should really update. Better a short chapter than no chapter, right? To be honest I was tempted to make the chapter longer and make it the last chapter, because I've really lost my muse for this story. I managed to pick up a little though, so I'll keep going. There will probably only be one or two chapters left though, so be warned! A few chapters ago, I got a review asking for more about Reno and Elena's relationship, so here it is =)_

_Also, can I ask a huge favor of everyone? Well, my other story Slither isn't doing so well at the moment. I know for a fact that people read, they just don't review. So, especially if you read 'Lithium' could you please go and take a look at that story? I'd really appreciate it!_

_I dedicate this chapter to my good friend Emily, who has been to have surgery today. Hopefully you'll get to read this update and it'll make you feel better!!_

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Chapter 22**

Elena found it quite odd that despite the fact she had only drank two bottles of beer, she still woke up feeling like she had a hangover. Maybe it was because of her evening of general 'living-life-to-max', combined with the fact that she hardly got any sleep because of the nauseous feeling that kept rising in her throat. She opened her eyes slightly, but the sunlight that flooded through burned. She turned over, closed her eyes and buried her face in her pillow, willing for her headache to go away.

It was almost as though Reno knew as soon as Elena was almost asleep again, because at the most inappropriate time possible an disturbingly cheery voice filled her ears.

"Ooh, Laney!" the redhead called right in her ear. Elena's heart leapt to somewhere in her throat and her head shot upwards, causing her neck to crick painfully. How he had managed to get that close to her without her noticing was a mystery. "It's time to get up!"

"What time is it?" Elena asked groggily, trying to ignore her heart, which was beating so fast and hard she could feel the blood pumping through her brain.

"I just told you." Reno said, an air of mocking about his voice. "Time to get up."

"Never mind." Elena snapped, propping herself up on her elbow and reaching across to turn her alarm clock around so she could see it. "Reno, it's 6:30. Why did you wake me up?"

"6:30 is a perfectly reasonable time for anyone to get up." The redhead answered, somehow maintaining his zealous demeanour. Considering this was someone who she couldn't usually communicate with unless he'd almost drowned his body organs in coffee in the mornings, this was extremely unnerving.

"Whatever, Reno." Elena decided to not make her head hurt more by trying to work out what he was playing at. "Just leave me alone while I get up. And keep your voice down, Drake's still asleep."

"Alrighty then." Reno's sing-song voice rang around the apartment as he walked back out of the bedroom into the living room, completely disregarding what Elena had just said. The blond sat up and sighed as she heard movement in coming from the guest room.

Dreading slightly whatever the day had to bring, Elena sat up and rubbed her eyes groggily. All she could think about as she got dressed into her Turk uniform was the various ways that Reno was probably going to make her life miserable. It was weird that he had somehow managed to make acting more mature work to his advantage, whilst Elena was the one stuck suffering…

Well, now it was time to make the bet go her way.

"Laney!" Reno called as Elena slowly made her way through to where the redhead was. "I think I broke your tap…"

Elena smiled and shook her head, but didn't say a word in response, despite the fact Reno was probably causing a flood in her kitchen. She walked through the living room, following the noise of the trickling water until she finally met the struggling redhead in the kitchen.

"What kinda retarded tap is this?" Reno hissed, giving up and turning to face Elena. His sleeves were wet from the water splashing up from the sink.

"It's the kind of retarded tap that you turn the other way to turn it off." Elena said, smirking. She reached forwards and turned the tap off, cringing slightly as the icy cold water splashed back up at her. "Thanks for putting my water bill up ten-fold."

"Haha, you can never stop, can you?" Reno laughed, attempting to wring out his sleeves.

"What?"

"You're always complaining." the redhead looked increasingly amused by Elena's obviously annoyed expression. "That money is so mine."

"_You _don't get any of that money. You're just as much of a jerk as you were before." the blond girl snapped at Reno. She knew that he was purposely trying to wind her up, but she suddenly didn't care about the bet. "And if I have to put with you, you can't blame me for moaning all the time."

"Moaning?" Reno grinned. "I never said anything about you moaning. But if you insist you might wanna hurry it up; I don't want Drake to walk in on us."

It seemed Elena wasn't the only one not caring about the bet. At that moment, she saw red, and grabbed the glass of water Reno had previously poured for himself and threw it over his head. He looked shocked for a moment, but then he started grinning, his eyes glinting through strands of sodden hair.

"So you're a fan of wet t-shirts too, huh?" he laughed.

"Yes Reno, they're my favorite." Elena said sardonically. "You know, I think this bet has a lot of flaws." she smiled and moved closer to Reno, who looked slightly taken aback.

"Yeah?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Neither of us are managing to hold up our side of it." Elena smirked, looking up at the confused redhead.

"I'm doin' better than you!" he protested. "You're not actin' anythin' like me! What am I supposed to to? Pretend to be pregnant and hormonal?"

"You mean that's not the image you were going for?" Elena laughed. _'Ha!' _she thought, _'now I'm in the lead.' _

"Ooh, that was a good one, 'Laney." Reno took a small step backwards and grinned. "But what about this?"

Elena had no time to prepare. In one moment, Reno leaned forwards and pressed his lips against hers for the second time since the start of the bet. Elena, knowing this kiss was not out of passion, pulled away.

"What are you doing?" she gasped.

"Actin' like you." Reno said, grinning. "'Cause I know how much ya wanna do that to me… and I ain't gonna start makin' out with myself, am I?"

"You really are unbelievable." Elena hissed, her cheeks burning. "You have no idea how much I hate you." She didn't wait for a response, but turned on her heel and marched out of the kitchen, intending to go and change her damp t-shirt. Reno, however, caught onto her arm before she made it to her bedroom.

"C'mon, 'Laney." he pleaded, pulling her backwards. "I know you don't mean that."

"Oh, no." The blond girl turned her head to face Reno, her eyes burning into him. "I do."

At that, Elena broke free from Reno's grasp, and retreated to her room, tears in her eyes. That damned redhead had no idea what he did to her. As she pulled of her wet t-shirt and searched for a new one, she thought back to each of the three times she and Reno had kissed. She knew that the passion she felt each time, Reno did not, and she couldn't stand it.

Then again, Reno did chose to spend a lot of his time with her, despite the fact he could probably have any other woman he desired. All he did was wind her up though; it was as though he picked up on her every weakness and combated it appropriately. But would Reno purposely mess with her heart?

That was Elena's problem with the bet though. Reno was doing better than her because he managed to twist it around to suit him. Elena however, could not pick on the redhead's weaknesses to manipulate the bet in the same way that he did.

'_So…?' _she thought to herself as she pulled on a fresh t-shirt. _'What are Reno's weaknesses?"_

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_Author's Note: And what are Reno's weaknesses? Hmm... =D What an interesting question. Thank you all so much for reading, don't forget to drop me a review!!_


	24. Chapter 23

_Authors Note: Sorry for the wait. I copied and pasted the last bit of the last chapter just to remind you all of where I left it off last time. I was gonna make this one the last chapter, but I'm having one more. I could have put the rest of it in this chapter, but I wanted to update quickly, since its taken so long. WARNING: this chapter has some swearing in it. Hope you all enjoy it._

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Chapter 23

_That was Elena's problem with the bet though. Reno was doing better than her because he managed to twist it around to suit him. Elena however, could not pick on the redhead's weaknesses to manipulate the bet in the same way that he did._

'So…?_' she thought to herself as she pulled on a fresh t-shirt._ _'What are Reno's weaknesses?'_

"Weaknesses, weaknesses…" Elena muttered to herself as she rifled through her clothes drawers. "What are his weaknesses…?"

Suddenly, her hand brushed against something soft somewhere at the bottom of the drawer. She reached in and pulled out a top that she hadn't seen in years. It was made of a soft pink material, and was very low-cut and revealing. She had been given it has a gift a while back, but it had been too small for her then. She hadn't tried it on since she had become a Turk though, so maybe it would fit her now she had been getting more exercise.

She quickly pulled it on and looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit, it actually looked really good, and it was a perfect fit. An idea forming in her head, Elena continued to search through her clothes until she came across a short, black skirt. Usually, she wouldn't have the confidence to dress like this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She pulled off her trousers and slipped the skirt on, looking in satisfaction at the result. A little eyeliner and lip-gloss later, along with a quick ruffle of her hair, Elena was ready to go and test her little experiment out.

Reno looked taken aback when she walked back into the living room, there was no mistaking his jaw dropping slightly as she smiled and strolled casually past the redhead, who was now sitting on the couch, and stood by the window.

"You're a little dressed up, aren't ya?" Reno said. He had a smirk on his face, but Elena could see he was struggling to take his eyes off her.

"Oh yeah…" Elena smiled at his, her eyes slightly narrowed in a suggestive way. "Just the first thing I grabbed from my drawers."

"Right…" Reno raised his eyebrows and shook his head, but still, his eyes did not move. "I know what ya playin' at."

"Yeah?" Elena laughed lightly and walked slowly over to where Reno was sitting. He moved backwards in his seat, looking extremely uncomfortable. "Don't pretend it's not working." she said in a soft voice, leaning toward the redhead. His bottom lip shivered slightly, and Elena pulled away, laughing.

"W-whatever, 'Laney." Reno watched her out of the corner of his eye as she sat down next to him.

She stretched her arms up, knowing her top had ridden up slightly, revealing some of her stomach. Reno's eyes travelled downwards and he swallowed slowly, his Adam's apple twitching.

"Fancy a little re-enactment of what we did earlier?" Reno asked, his usual smug expression returning to his face. Elena was determined not to let him win however.

She leaned right forwards so her lips were inches from his. She could feel his hot, shuddering breath on her face.

"Now, Reno… that wouldn't be very responsible, would it?" she whispered. The redhead blinked, his aquamarine eyes filled with lust that couldn't be disguised. That lust was the last thing Elena saw however, before her mind forced her eyes to close when Reno's soft lips pressed against hers.

Her heart filled with all sorts of elation. For a start, there was no denying she had won the bet now. The main thing however, was that she had seen Reno's true desire for her for the first time. She let him kiss her for a moment, savoring the emotions, but then she pulled away and laughed loudly.

"That's it!" she exclaimed. "I win."

"Fuck you!" Reno shouted, suddenly looking very alert. "You don't win shit!"

"Yes, I do. If I didn't just win with that little outburst, nobody is ever going to win." Elena said, standing up. She could tell from Reno's expression that he knew he was going to lose.

"Yeah?" he said, reaching up and grabbing her wrist. "Win this."

He pulled her back down onto the couch and pushed her so she was on her back. Elena waited with bated breath until the redhead had positioned himself so he had Elena pinned to the couch. He leaned down and kissed her. Even though Elena had felt his lips against hers many times now, it still felt as powerful as the first time. There was a passion in Reno's aura that had never been there before. It felt like nothing in the world could interrupt them, until they heard a small cough coming from the doorway.

"Oh shi-" Reno began, but Elena clapped her hand over his mouth before he could finish. The redhead jumped off her and looked awkwardly at the new arrival.

"Mornin' Drake." he said innocently, grinning.

"You were doing naughty things." The little blond boy said bluntly.

"Naughty?" Reno scoffed. "Pfft… haven't ya been taught the facts of life yet, kid? Go on the internet if ya wanna find out what's naughty."

"Reno, shut up." Elena smacked the redhead lightly on the head. "Just because you lost the bet doesn't mean you can be vulgar again."

"I didn't freakin' lose!" Reno growled, staring seriously at the blond. It was funny how worked up he could get for such a trivial thing.

"Reno, in the past 5 minutes you've sworn 2 and a half times, tried to introduce a child to pornography, and given into the basic animal instincts only you have. And _they're _not things I would do now, are they?"

"Yeah?" Reno looked her up and down. "And I don't think I'd go dressin' in a skimpy top and mini-skirt to seduce the nearest man, would I? But there ya are."

Elena ignored the disturbing mental picture that last comment had put in her head and glared angrily at the redhead. "You try and seduce people of the opposite sex in exactly the same way. Unless you're suggesting we should've both gone and had sex-change operations, I say I won fair and square."

"'_I say I won fair and square.'_" Reno mimicked in a childish voice. "Well _I _say you can shut the f-"

"That's it." Elena clapped her hand over Reno's mouth before he could utter the inevitable profanity. "There's only one man who can settle this argument."

"Oh, no, Elena…" Reno shot her a warning glare. "If you're thinkin' what I'm thinkin' , that's not a good idea…"

"Well, you're quite clearly not going to listen to me, are you?" Elena stated. "Rude is the only person you ever listen to."

"I only listen to him a tiny amount more than I listen to anybody else…" the redhead retorted. "And that's because he could rip me in two if he really wanted to."

"I would like to think you listen to him because he's your best friend and you respect his opinion." Elena shook her head at the amused expression on Reno's face. "But we both know you're not going to admit to that."

"Weeell… ya can't make me go and see Rude." Reno smirked and crossed his arms.

"No, I can't." Elena returned the smile with equal smugness. "But I _can_ ask Rude to come here. And I'm sure he'll be even more angry at you then; I'm sure he's very busy at work."

"Fine." Reno sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll go if it'll shut you up."


End file.
